Surfin' Alpaca (Sorry, Beach Boys- SOMEONE Had To)

I hit the news site expecting to hear about Rivers of Blood, 100 years of darkness, boiling seas and a severe locust surplus. And that was just bracing for the Opinion section.

But instead-- there in a moment of joy, whimsy and "what-in-the-name-of-Jack-Hanna-is-that?" was a photo of Peruvian surfer Domingo Pianezzi, hitting the waves with his talented surf amigo, Pisco the Alpaca.

Yes, that's right: alpaca. One of those cute, fluffy, sheeply, llama-ish, mini-camelesque fellows we see in craft stores sometimes hocking their luxurious, wearable locks as yarn. See Pisco here needing quality time under a blow-dryer.

In an instant, a song popped into my head. The Beach Boys, singing Surfin' Safari. But the words... Oh, how the words had changed...

Sing with me now.

Surfin' Alpaca


Let's go surfin' now
Pisco’s gonna show us how
Surf with an alpaca or three
(Surf with an alpaca or...)

Early in the morning on San Bartolo
See a strange form shootin’ the curl
He’s the free-stylin’ honcho
You can make into a poncho
And a great way to meet girls

Come on (two-toes) baby, come and see (surfin' alpaca)
This alpaca (cute nose) surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me
Come along (he spits) baby, wanna see (surfin' alpaca)
Ramma-llama (no shit!) out there surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me

Let's go surfin' now
Flip yer camelid, and how!
Surf with an alpaca or three
(Surf with an alpaca or...)

All around a-Lima, well, they come for miles
Just to see him catching the waves
And to make things even better
He can even be your sweater
At fiestas he’s a fave

Come on (too cool) baby, come and see (surfin' alpaca)
This alpaca (wet wool) surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me
Come along (he spits) baby, wanna see (surfin' alpaca)
Ramma-llama (no shit!) out there surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me

Let's go surfin' now
Flip yer camelid, and how!
Surf with an alpaca or three
(Surf with an alpaca or...)

There’s mania in Mancora:, in Pacasmayo
They’re open-mouthed in Organos, too
So go and tell it to your mama
That he’s really not a llama
He’s a camelid from Peru

Come on (soft fleece) baby, come and see (surfin' alpaca)
This alpaca (sharp teeth) surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me
Come along (he spits) baby, wanna see (surfin' alpaca)
Ramma-llama (no shit!) out there surfin' (surfin' alpaca) with me

Let's go surfin' now
Pisco’s gonna show us how
Surf with an alpaca or three
(Surf with an alpaca or...)

Three
(Surfin' Alpaca)
With me
(Surfin' Alpaca)
Three
(Surfin' Alpaca)
Yeah me
(Surfin' Alpaca)
With me


"That alpaca dude is, like, totally shorn to surf, man!"


(And yes, it IS Friday.... why do you ask? :) )

More Monkeying Around at the Zoo

Hi-- meet my Uncle Lou. This is him, just about asleep in the chair in front of the TV, after Thanksgiving dinner... Boy, can that fellow put the candied yams AWAY.

Okay, yes, I am kidding you. This is not my Uncle Lou.... This is Uncle HENRY. They just look a lot alike.

Henry is always the one with the red nostrils.

But we're not here today to talk about my relatives. We're here to commune with the beauty of nature. (Read: put silly captions to zoo photos.) So let's get started.

Picture it, we're deep in the heart of Africa, and the lion and his mate have settled down for a long, restful sleep...


"GASP! Leo, are you awake? I heard something. I think there's a burglar..."



(Sigh) "Lena, fer Pete's sake, we go through this every single day... FINE. I'll go check it out."...



"When the zebra fell over dead, its fellow zoo inhabitants were none too surprised. He'd always been the type for dramatic exits..."



"Hi! Have you seen Nemo? Maybe he went this way..."



Meet the next America's Top Model...



"Shhh, don't look now, but don't you think Bambi seems to be putting on a lot of weight lately?... And just LOOK at what she's done to her hooves..."



"Hi- I'm looking for a clownfish. He's orange..."



"I'm here, Dory."



"...And small..."


"HERE, Dory..."


"And he has stripes..."



"I'M HERE!!!!"


"Nevermind, maybe he went this way..."



"Snowflake was all set to win the first official Polar Bear Mavericks of Surf Competition..."


"Until another surfer struck him in the back of the kneecap..."



"Sweetie, come BACK here. You have a little schmutz. Let me just get that..."

• Oh, while I remember, for those who missed Part One of the Zoo photos, click here.

• For those who missed this week's tale of clown fear, red lightbulbs and why Poltergeist seems to have scarred an entire generation, click here.

• And for anyone curious to check out some unexpected celebrity lookalikes, you might get a chuckle here.

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Lions and tigers and Humor-blogs, oh my!