Branded!- Literally: Mr. and Mrs.

"It has nickname possibilities, but the .com at the end just feels unwieldy," I thought to myself.

I was reading this article, about how the president of the NASCAR venue Texas Motor Speedway, Eddie Gossage, has offered $100,000 to disc jockey Terry Dorsey to officially change his name to for a year-- and get himself a permanent tattoo to commemorate the occasion.

Dorsey has 24 hours to accept this very literal branding effort.

Now, I don't know about you folks, but for me, it would have to be a heckvua lot more than $100,000 to even make that worth 24 hours of consideration.

Shouldn't the going rate for stupid be just a little higher? I mean, Robert Redford paid Demi Moore $1,000,000 for a single night in his Indecent Proposal. And it's not like Demi had to have a permanent Sundance Film Festival logo tramp stamp slapped on her as part of the deal.

But besides that-- and ignoring, y'know, any pesky ethical choices or anything-- here are just a few additional reasons our DJ friend might want to rethink saying "yes" to the proposal:

  • Any woman who has ever changed her name after marriage will tell you that it might take Dorsey a whole year just to unstick all the various Bureaucratic Moniker Alteration Red Tapes from his elegantly-worn cowboy boots
  • He would have to get all new checks and address labels made, though admittedly those personalized check services always have a nice wide selection of appropriate NASCAR themes
  • This will confuse the mail carrier. Does the mail go to his house, or the speedway? Whose route is that? It's a .com, so shouldn't there be an email option? This will back up delivery of the man's Netflix for months.
  • Does the DJ's family become the Texasmotorspeedway.coms? Or do they hyphenate?
  • When monogramming, do you include the .com?
Now, I was thinking, if the guy really wanted to make some money, he could just tattoo various NASCAR sponsor logos all over him, like one of the cars.

He could even get a nice body-part specific branding tie-in theme going. Like TUMS on the ol' mid-section... Goody's Headache Powder on his forehead... Viagra on his... Pending legal approvals and whatnot, of course.

So that leads me to today's question: what would you do if you were this DJ?

Personally-- I'm a big fan of, say, savory snack crackers, but that doesn't mean I'd transform into little Jenni Cheez-It for a year...

I mean, I have a whole box of business cards I haven't used yet. And I'm lucky to get my mail delivered as it is.


Wendi said...

This story makes me really proud to live in Texas.

And I like the Viagra idea. You should trademark that one. :)

Unknown said...

Wendi- If it's any consolation to you, I think the idea could have been born virtually anywhere these days. :) Tacky ideas aren't regional.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Jenn, I would need a whole lot more money than $100,000 before even cosidering to change my name to something like that. When you consider the DJ is on the radio and how much air time that would give this speedway it should be at least $1,000,000 or more. I mean they pay at least that for 2 -5 minutes adds for the supper bowl. I would have told the guy no way as soon as he asked with an offer like that. I would ask for at least $15,000,000 to change my name for a year. Also I would never agree to the tatoo maybe a t-shirt.

Unknown said...

See, that's what I was thinking. What an advertising bargain the guy was trying to get! I'd think the radio station would have something to say about it, too, as it directly affects their broadcast.

Jaffer said...

I agree - the going rate should be higher.
And after all the trouble he may go through - how much money will he really make from the deal.

The CEO is trying to rip him off or maybe taking advantage of him - perhaps the DJ is deep in Debts or has an addiction and doesn't really care what comes and goes.

Unknown said...

Jaffer- The only thing I can think is, the president figures it's so outrageous, it'll get the publicity without him having to shell out the $100,000 anyway. That just news (and bloggers- ahem) talking about it will be free advertising even if the DJ doesn't accept the deal. (And why would he?)

ReformingGeek said...

Gee, thanks for highlighting the stupidity of one of our local DJs. He's been around for 100 years. In other words, he's too old for this silliness!


Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to publicity.

Unknown said...

Reforming Geek- Well, we don't know if your DJ has accepted yet, so I wouldn't comment on his intellectual prowess just yet. If he's 100 years old, though, I sort of feel sorry for him. Perhaps it's another case of Elder Abuse! :)

Stillthinking said...


Do name changes have to go to court in Texas? I am guessing not. I know in certain states you have to appear in front of a judge to request a name change, and judges can reject your change if they feel it's frivolous. I think we should applaud the DJ if he does this. Why? Because it's not that often that we meet people who wear their stupidity on their sleeve. It's refreshing to know that they're not bright even before they open their mouths. Think of all the work it will save getting to know someone if you can just look at their tattoo and see evidence of their stupidness.

Thanks lady.

Anonymous said...

I just have to believe that the offer itself is the publicity stunt and that it will all blow over tomorrow (April Fools Day). I don't think Dorsey will go through with it.

Surfie said...

No way, Jose. That name would never fit on my new SSN card.

screwdestiny said...

That's the stupidest thing I've heard all week. I loved your post about it. Definitely gotta go with that Viagra tattoo idea.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

$100,000!?! I'd do it in a heartbeat, and I'm not a racing fan. I am a fan of having money to spend, though. A real fan. I could live with a tattoo and a year of being called for $100,000.