The Pop Cultures of Yogurt Fanaticism

Maybe you guys can help me out.

  • Have you ever made a scene in public due to the joy of an enzyme-based milk product?
  • At gatherings with friends and family, does the conversation naturally lead to bloating, irregularity, and the miraculous relief you find through a daily cup of bacteria-laden dairy?
  • Do you feel yogurt flavors are perfectly comparable with finely-made baked goods?
  • Have you ever swirled your hand in a sweeping motion, as the unspoken International Gesture of Happily Irrigated Bowels?

I ask because, being Lactose Disgruntled myself, I have not enjoyed any of these experiences. And, based on the persistent commercials on television right now, I'm getting the impression that there's a Train of Feel Goodness, Beauty and Wonder rolling on through, carrying better health, gourmet delicacies, and unmatched vitality... And I'm the only one who hasn't leapt aboard singing and waving.

I'm starting to wonder if it's this Outside Looking In perspective that's causing Jamie Lee Curtis-- in her single-minded Activia enthusiasm of late-- to seriously annoy me.

I feel bad about it, too. I mean, I was full of empathy for her when she was on serial killer Michael Myers' shit list in Halloween.

I chuckled with her as she manipulated John Cleese using humor, initiative and a new set of implants.

But now... now I just want to push her off that stupid green Activia sofa and shout, "For the love of Wanda, please, please, please stop talking!" every time she turns a perfectly normal discussion into the Wide, Wide World of Intestinal Bacteria.

Then there's the Dan-o-nino jingle that runs every five minutes on BBC America. Based on its name, Dan-o-nino is apparently the first yogurt targeted specifically to Latino and Hispanic boy children. Or large climactic irregularities. I'm not sure which.

Actually, I hope it's the last one, because given all the probiotic hubbub, the thought of marketers suggesting the product causes sudden wind and weather shake-ups just makes me laugh.

Anyway, before I even got done picking apart the name of the thing, my brain got a hold of the repetitious jingle, where small children sing the "Dan-o-nino" name, oh... like... ten times to infinity until I'm ready to stick a yogurt spoon through my ear.

I find myself doing things around the house, with "Dan-o-nino... Dan-dan-no-nino" running through my brain.

And yes, I know-- some would suggest that creating something that's so catchy is good marketing.

Some would say it's the irritating quality of the Dan-o-nino song and name that's what's getting the product press right now through my blog at this very minute, and isn't it clever?

Of course, some would also say it's wrong to stick a spoon through your ear or push Jamie Lee Curtis off the sofa.

We can just agree to disagree.


Cari said...

You are not the only one to watch the Activia train go zipping on by and not try to jump on. If you really want to know, I find that a cup of coffee with some Benefiber serves the same purpose.

While I don't have that jingle stuck in my head, if I hear the "Chuggington" theme song one more time, it will permanently haunt my dreams.

Unknown said...

Cari- Hm, I don't know Chuggington-- and maybe it's a good thing, eh? :)

Jaffer said...

'morning - just had coffee with a 12 grain bagel and butter.
No yoghurt - I can't go yoghurt so early in the morning !

Well, some live bacteria are good for you and they have been shown to be beneficial for over all general health - but they are commonly found in yoghurt or soy yoghurt - these bacteria are called probiotics.

There are not some 'advanced' formula cooked up in labs of commercial establishments - they just germs that do their thing but in a pro-bono way.

Cari said...

I can't remember if you have small children, Jenn, but my kids are 5 and 1 so I get tortured by kiddie TV a lot.

Chuggington is a new show on Disney - it's about train depot, Thomas rip off, much? The theme song isn't horrible, it's just a really potent earworm for me.

Unknown said...

Jaffer- "do their thing but in a probono way"-- heh...

Cari- No, I don't actually have kids so that explains why I was missing out on the Chuggington Experience.

I've tried watching the occasional film on Disney, and it's so many loud commercials and short bits of film in between MANY commercial breaks, it almost gives ME Attention Deficit problems. :)

Surfie said...

Despite what Jamie Lee and all those kids say, the best yogurt is soft-serve frozen yogurt. Long live TCBY!

Unknown said...

Surfie- Yeah, interesting how the very most desserty... the most palatable form of yogurt is completely ignored in these ads. Hm. :)

Cari said...

@Surfie - Totally Cool Bitchin' Yogurt!

@Jenn - sorry for my poor memory. Almost no sleep last night so I'm in a fog.

Unknown said...

Cari- Oh, gosh-- no problem! I wasn't offended or anything. You've got me curious now what this song is like. I bet I can YouTube it to get the Dan-o-nino song out of my head. :)

I hope you get some rest, though. It's hard operating on not much sleep.

Cari said...

If you really want to torture yourself, here you go:

As far as the sleep goes, I'll survive. I've mainlined some coffee and I'm hoping to get the kids to the playground later to run off some energy. It's nothing compared to my 1 year old's reign of terror during his first three months. ;)

Jenn Thorson said...

Cari- "Woo-wooooo!!!" (You poor gal.) Of course, at least it's a LITTLE easier on the ears than Bananas in Pajamas. I saw that ONCE and couldn't get it out of my brain years later.

It's a beautiful day-- so here's hoping the Playground Scheme works.

JD at I Do Things said...

Jaime Lee Curtis used to be so cool. And "Dan-o-nino" would have the exact opposite effect on me that the advertisers would like.

I get my probiotics in a tiny and cute little pill. Sorry, it doesn't come in raspberry cheesecake supreme flavor, but it gets the job done. swirls hand

Unknown said...

JD- A very gracefully-timed hand-swirl there, lady. Have you considered spokespersoning? :)

Da Old Man said...

Jingles don't bug me nor do adults extolling the qualities of bowel helpers.
What drives me nuts is smart ass kids in commercials. Like the one with the brat dressing down mom for buying minced fish.

Unknown said...

Da Old Man- Oh, yeah-- THAT KID. That kid SOOOOO has it comin', doesn't she?!

PS- EXCELLENT to see you out and about. I read your post the other day with great joy. We all missed you.

Sujatha said...

And in honor of your post, Jenn, I give you a recipe for home-made yogurt.

Starting culture: use about 2 tbsp of any brand like Stonyfield farm, or those Greek specialty yogurts for a starter.

Boil 1 quart of milk (1% at least, 2% or 4% milk make for richer yogurts) in a saucepan and let it cool till it's lukewarm.
Mix in the 'culture' and let it sit covered overnight (or for 5-6 hours) in a warmish location.

Et voila, le Yaourt et pret!

Anonymous said...

I, too, am SO over these commercials. At least SNL got a great spoof skit out of it. This reminds me of a commercial I saw yesterday for Beano. The lady mentioned how she never forgets to take her Beano before eating to halt gas outbursts. Then she says, otherwise she'll have to find a new yoga class.

Which is always the joke, because I always hear stories of someone who accidentally toots in yoga class. (That's why I'm afraid to try it - the class that is.)

Jenn Thorson said...

Sujatha- I had no idea it was so simple! I admit, I have eaten yogurt based things quite merrily when it involved Indian food. But there, the marvelous spices and the aroma tend to make me forget. :)

Corey- Maybe you should try a Yoga at Home class to start off. A nice safe DVD you can play in your home, to build confidence-- and see the potential effects. :)

Sebastyne said...

Oh, one of the best things about living in Australia is that those damned ads have not yet reached our beautiful borders like they did in Finland. And no, effective jingles do not sell products, in fact, as they repeat in my head, I was reminded of the stupid ads every time I was at the shop, and even though Activia Danone what ever it was yoghurt was sugar- and fat free the way we liked it, I refused to buy their products because of the stupid ass ads.

Unfortunately Tasmanians in Australia are very good at making horrible TV ads, with the added bonus that their marketing budget only allows one in five years but they'll make sure it's well repeated during the five years...

Jen said...

I can not watch those commercials without wondering if those rumors about Jamie Lee are true. She brought it up, she's talking about her intestines and we all know where those things lead.

Melanie said...

Go ahead and push Jamie Lee off the sofa, you've got my full support.

I eat my generic yogurt every morning for breakfast, quietly and without fanfare or jingles or name brand nonsense. I have never started a conversation about the condition of my intestines and see no reason for anyone to do so on television.

Jenn Thorson said...

Sebastyne- If I need a break, I may have to visit Australia for a while to get an Activia reprieve. :) And thanks to you, I know now to steer clear of Finnish television.... And Tasmanians. :) It's so interesting how irritating commercials span borders.

Jen- I prefer not to think about JLC's anatomy at all... If I could just block it all out, it would be great. It's bad enough I have to hear so often about her digestive system. I WISH she would abandon this for comedy.... well, REAL comedy.

Melanie- See, this is what I suspected. A nation of yogurt eaters quietly eating yogurt in a noble, non-sharing way.

Chris said...

Oh, those annoying jingles. On the radio, I'm always hearing one for 1-800-Kars for Kid (yes, Kars with a K) that just bugs the hell out of me.

And sorry, Jamie Lee is STILL hot.