Power to the Quirk

A few days ago, my bud Crotchety Old Man passed along a non-mandatory and unusually laissez-faire meme suggesting I share things about myself with you folks which are either "boring or quirky."

Regular readers are probably already snickering into their hands because, you know, even pre-meme, Cabbages is pretty much up to its leafy bits in Quirk.

As the Quirk does tend to ooze from the pores (sorry for the smell, I haven't found a good prescription-strength de-quirkorant yet), I figured we'd play along today. I was pretty sure I still had some quirkworthy items that hadn't been covered yet.

Because since Carnival Freak Shows have been outlawed, now we have memes:

• I actually like the smell of gasoline. I mean, not enough to want a new body fragrance called "Chevron Number 5." But I do find the smell of a filled fuel tank to be pleasant. More pleasant, of course, if it costs under $4.00 a gallon.

• I still occasionally catch myself walking with my thumbs tucked into my fists, because of too many years of marching band. WHY?!! What is it about flagrantly flappy thumbs I'm worried about these days? I mean, it's not like I also put on white rubber spats over my ballerina flats. Or wear a stupid hat with a large plume shaped like a guinea pig, anymore. But the thumbs. I simply cannot undo the thumbs. Curse my band director and his pointy baton!

• My Thanksgiving comes complete with gigantic spiny reptiles. Yes, I know what you're thinking. I'm seeing turkeys, right. Ugly Thanksgiving turkeys. But no, my friends. I am seeing Godzilla versus Megalon, camped out in Dad's backyard in the Florida Keys. Because Little Hannah couldn't take her moderately-sized pet iguana along when the family moved to California. And Little Harrison, the same. And now their cute little lizards, left to the south Florida wilds, have grown. And expanded. And enjoy sunbathing. In between, y'know, stomping Tokyo.

• My dad listens to fish. No, really. He studies bio-acoustics, which is a fancy way of saying, "Toadfish make booping noises; and I listen to 'em." Not that he knows precisely what they're saying. Not that he's a toadfish therapist or anything, and tells them to lie down on the reef and tell him what's bothering them. ("I zink you verr traumatized early on as ze egg.") But he records them, pulls data, writes academic papers... And when I phone him, sometimes toadfish are booping over his stereo system in the background. I bet the neighbors love it! He's also made a CD of these sounds, and likes to drive around to it. Road trips with The Pop are... interesting.

• I Flex-All my face sometimes. You know, Flex-All, that burning hot muscle rub? Yep. I have killer sinus migraines regularly, and one way to help them is the Flex-All. It could be because of the comforting vapors. Or it could be just the stinging, eye-tearing, hot-cold excruciating pain of the stuff distracts me from my actual headache. Mine is not to question.

• Have you seen my Marshmallow Peeps action-adventure? ("The Peep Squad in: The Great Escape.") 'Nuff said.

Now, I bet you all think I'm going to Meme the heck out of you, picking off blog buddies from your ranks like ducks in a shooting gallery and publicly peer-pressuring you into a meme-along....

Well, okay, that would be kinda funny... But NO! In the spirit of the Quirk, I will NOT ask you to meme. I will passive-aggressively suggest that if anyone wishes to meme of their own accord, then let the meme-ing begin! Otherwise, may you live happy and meme-free this day.

And possibly just think fondly of me a moment should you see an iguana the size of a Humvee.... a bottle of Flex-All... or some idiot walking along with his or her thumbs tucked neatly into their fists.

Until tomorrow, my friends!

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Humor-blogs
Humorbloggers

By Jeeves, Cabbages Has Been Tagged!

Sujatha over at Fluff-n-Stuff has tagged me, which is only fair as I'd imposed on her good nature in an X-treme Meme of sorts a few months ago. But that's the Internet for you. "Those Who Tag Will Get Tagged Themselves and Must a Gracious Tag Recipient Be."

Or, in other words-- what goes around comes around.

It's Tag Karma.

So the Tag Rules, as I understand them, are as follows:

Pick up the nearest book.
Open to page 123.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the next three sentences.
Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.

I will be doing all but the tagging of the five. Because:

1. My network of blogging buddies is still eye-rolling over the last meme and
2. There's not enough distance between it and me for a second Tag to not distinctly smell of old cheese and sweat socks
   

Instead, should any of you fellow bloggers popping by here wish to participate in this tag of your own volition, consider yourself "Duck, Duck Goosed." :)

That said, on to the Tag itself!

And the book I grabbed is one I'm actually rereading-- Right Ho, Jeeves! by P.G. Wodehouse.

On page 123, beginning with the fifth sentence, we find young British aristocrat and well-meaning pinhead, Bertie Wooster, conferring with his wise butler Jeeves over the most recent tangled mess in his friends' love lives.

Bertie has just recommended to his chum-- the portly Tuppy Glossop-- that the best way to renew the love of Angela after a tiff about Tuppy's weight (and Tuppy's open insensitivity when Angela nearly got eaten by a shark on vacation), would be for Tuppy to lay off eating.

This, Bertie proposed, would demonstrate that Tuppy is sick with a broken heart. And Angela would melt at the prospect.

But after a missed meal or two, Tuppy's willpower simply isn't up to the challenge. In the following lines, Jeeves questions Bertie about the previous evening's disastrous altercation vis-a-vis the Angela-Tuppy parties...

"Yes, sir. It seemed to me that Mr. Glossop's face was 'sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought.'"

"Quite. He met my Cousin Angela in the larder last night, and a rather painful interview ensued."

"I am sorry, sir."

"Not half so sorry as he was. She found him closeted with a steak-and-kidney pie, and appears to have been a bit caustic about fat men who lived for food alone."

The book continues, with Tuppy unwilling to lay off the food or concede Angela's shark...

With Bertie being doggedly pursued by the soupy, saucer-eyed Madeline Bassett (a girl who believes that when a baby sneezes, a fairy is born and that the "stars are God's Daisy Chain")...

And with Bertie's awkward friend Gussie Fink-Nottle torn between his own adoration of the gooey Bassett and his love of experimenting with newts...

Well, let's just say much mayhem and merriment ensues. Wodehouse was a master of witty dialogue and bizarre convoluted plots. And I'm afraid the few spare sentences included above don't quite do it justice. If you haven't read Wodehouse before and you enjoy British humor, his work is definitely worth a read.

Oh-- but before I go today, I have a funny bit of Cabbages trivia to share with you related to Mr. Wodehouse.

When I originally was brainstorming names for this humor blog, I thought I might use some obscure phrase from Wodehouse's work. Something different-- a bit of an "in joke" that only a few readers would get.

And the phrase I had grown fond of (and which is said a number of times in Right Ho, Jeeves) was "Angela's Shark."

It seemed offbeat and easy to remember. And the fact that my name is absolutely nothing like "Angela" made it even funnier.

Well, do you know WHAT HAPPENS when you try to make that phrase into a Blogspot URL?

No?...

angelasshark.blogspot.com

Yes, that's right. Through the impossibility of an apostrophe in the URL, there was EVERY PROBABILITY that right now you would be visiting the "Angel Ass Hark" blog.

Somehow, I just didn't think it had the tone I was looking for.

Toodle-pip, chums!

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Humor-blogs also resolutely denies Angela's shark and suggests it was probably just a large, friendly herring.

Meme Time, Meme Channel

So Dead Rooster (or as I like to think of him-- "Le Coq Mort") over at Legally Sane Blogging included me in this meme which is going around. So to honor the Deceased Chanticleer, I have developed today's post.

The Gallo Esta Muerto was, in fact, very strict about the rules of this meme. For an ex-chicken he's still got a bit of spunk left in him, so I'd prefer not to tick him off. Roosters can be touchy. So these are the rules.

RULES:

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment on their blog and tell them they have been tagged, and to come back and read your blog for the whole story.
5. Those who are late to the table do not get fruit cup
   

Okay, so I made up that last one, but it's a nice touch, don't you think? :) Now-- on to the eight random facts or habits! Huzzah! (Hey, I saw that-- you stifle that big yawn... We're doing this for the Demised Poultry, remember?)


EIGHT RANDOM FACTS OR HABITS

1.) If groups like the Beach Boys, Ladysmith Black Mambazo or Clannad are on in the car, my brain thinks I should be able to sing along with them just fine-- in spite of language barriers or lyrics issues. It makes for an interesting ride for my passengers.

2.) I'd included it once in a meme on my thrifting blog, but I cannot express it often enough. If mayonnaise touches my food, that food is completely contaminated. I have mayo fear.

3.) 80s singer Eddie Money filmed his "I Wanna Go Back" video in my hometown, and they cast extras from my high school. One of my best friends made a merry fool of himself in it, dancing "The Swim." Eddie Money's people didn't ask him to do The Swim. It was his own personal flourish. We were so proud (read: made fun of him for weeks and weeks).

4.) I used to know French pretty well but now, after all these years I am left with only the words for sheep, scallops, fish, dress, rooster (coincidentally!), and a few lines from "Le Petit Prince." Needless to say, should I ever be plunked down in Paris and left to find my way home, you might as well just forget about me. Or else look for me at a French market that specializes in seafood and children's literature.

5.) As a kid I was utterly convinced that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby were the same person. My poor long-suffering mother had to explain the difference numerous times. I also was convinced that Mark Hamill, and skaters Dorothy Hamill and Scott Hamilton were all related.

6.) I find putting jigsaw puzzles together stressful (and yep, I am a high-strung overachiever, why do you ask?)

7.) Growing up, I'd wanted to be Wonder Woman, Batgirl or Nancy Drew-- pretty much in that order. Instead, I'm a marketing writer. Admittedly, it's not as glamorous, but the uniform rides up less.

8.) In college, I drew a regular comic strip called "Shearadon and Woolworth" starring some anthropomorphic sheep, both of whom wore Chuck Taylors. I still doodle the sheep sometimes.


All righty then! That's eight! And now to tag eight of my fellow bloggers who probably won't care one whit (and how can I blame them?) about being all meme-ed up.

Here goes-

BLOGGERS WHO ARE BEING MEME-ED UP:

1.) Kevin at Pointless Banter because it will annoy him

2.) Shirley of My Thoughts and Proof Positivity because she's always nice to me and will forgive me for including her in a meme

3.) Alice from Honey Pie because she's funny as heck and also she needs a break from sanding her son's plantar wart and from creating tent worm farms

4.) Kathy at The Junk Drawer, because I think she could do something really funny and original with this.

5.) Chelle of Offended Blogger because she's unlikely to be offended by being included here

6.) Sujatha of Fluff-n-Stuff because the woman speaks a bazillion languages and would likely be able to share a really cool eight items

7.) Claire of A Little Piece of Me because Claire might be able to leverage it for her college counseling classes.

8.) Mike of Monkey Fables and Tales because he's just one seriously witty guy... or something.

Have fun with it. Or ignore it. Y'know, whatever makes ya happy.

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Did you know that Dead Rooster is a rising star (or crowing bird?) on Humor-blogs?