The Peeps Squad in: The Big Hatch

There they were. The pristine packages of Peeps split open. A few missing. I asked the friend who rents the apartment upstairs to just own up. To just come clean and admit she ate the Peeps. But she said it was a bum rap. She was diabetic, and plus she had an alibi-- fifty people saw her at the local Easter Egg Hunt. And not a crack in her story.

That's when I turned to my home surveillance tapes-- which revealed the following startling footage.

This is Chick. Chick DeNiro. Member of the Glucose crime syndicate. He's identified by the distinctive mole on his face, and the fact that he's never without his trusty knife.

Chick had had enough of celophane incarceration and bided his time until it was safe to break out of the cel.

Then he went back for his buddies.

This is Fran "Big Hen" Malone. She'd do anything for Chick. When she was threatened with the pen, the cops thought she'd sing like a canary. But she never chickened out and told 'em anything about Chick's dealings.

On the bottom left is Fluff McGoo. He's the type that's easily led. Basically a good kid but a bit of a dumb bunny... He looks up to Chick and doesn't want to be left out of any of the action.

Chick's peep on the right is Ed "Kaboom" Cannon. He's the explosives man, been detonating things since he was nine and discovered aeosol hairspray and a lighter. Accidentally roasted his whole family and lives with a lot of guilt because of it. Kaboom's stone deaf but he knows his stuff.

On the way out of the cel, Fluff discovers just the thing they need for their escape. Rope. And lots of it.

Slowly, carefully, they make their way down the rope, down the kitchen cabinets and closer to freedom.

Chick waits at the bottom for his team.

Only something goes wrong! High winds cause the rope to swing loose, and Fluff to tumble off the edge of the precipace, just catching onto the rope in time. Now Kaboom and Fluff are both in trouble.

Kaboom makes it to safety, but now Fluff is tangled in the rope! How will he ever survive?

They manage to get him to safety, but not without injury.

He's missing an ear and may have suffered some nerve damage, but some quick bandaging will help him continue on. Says Chick, "No peep left behind!"

They make it across the kitchen floor, and freedom seems almost feasible. But what to do about that large heavy door?

Kaboom has the answer! He can make explosives out of some simple household cleaners.

He sets the bomb, but unfortunately Fluff doesn't get out of the way in time. Fluff McGoo is no more...

His comrades say a little prayer for him as he goes to the great Easter Basket in the sky. But they've come too far to stop in their quest for freedom now. Fluff would have wanted it that way.

Fortunately, Chick has an idea. And he's brought the leftover rope...

Chick lassoes the knob, climbs up and picks the lock.

The door creaks open and the former prisioners see sunlight for the very first time in months.

They rush outside, feeling the warmth of the spring sun, the wind of their faces, the...

RAIN on their candy-coated bodies! As Chick DeNiro disolves, he only has time to wonder: was it WORTH it?

"Yes," he rasps, "It was worth it. Freedom always has its price. But it's worth it."

Happy Easter to ALL my peeps! :)

Did you know, you can crack open posts from great new humor writers over at Humor-blogs?


Claire said...

I think its time for a peeps intervention!

Tony Berkman said...

Yup..sometimes peeps just don't know whats good for them.

ender said...


and i thought i had too much time on my hands! ;) ;)

Anonymous said...

Looks like this took a lot of time. Can see where thrifting and humor skills overlap. The photographs and story are great.

Jenn Thorson said...

Claire-- you're probably right. :) But I think I've gotten it out of my system for THIS Easter, anyway.

Tony- yeah, we can only guide them toward the right choices. We can't make the choices for 'em.

Ender and Mark- The SAD thing is this whole thing took about an hour and a half between the photos, writing and staging. So not really any longer than my usual posts.

PS- I had to kill the rabbit because he kept falling over while I was trying to take pics.

Alice said...

Loved it!

Bobbie said...

Terrific! Happy Peepster Jenn.

Jenn Thorson said...

Heh... Happy Peepster to you, too, Bobbie! :)

The_Mrs said...

Man.. I thought I commented.

Guess I only thought I did.

That was great! :)

R said...

Oh, _thanks_, Jenn -- now I have the Pet Shop Boys singing "Was It Worth It"....and it's bedtime. Not exactly when I want a club anthem from the 80's/90's rattling around in my brain.

Love you anyway,

Jenn Thorson said...

Alice and Bobbie- thanks! And happy Peepster (love that) to both of you!

The Mrs.- hey, thanks for visiting! I left you a comment on your check-out post... I definitely feel your pain with that one.

Rhet- Well, it wasn't my GOAL, but hey, whatever passes along an ear worm to one of my pals... well, that's just bonus. :) (maniacal laughter-- and yes, I KNOW I'll pay for this some other time...)

Greg said...

You know, you *may* have a Peep problem, dear.

I shudder to think what the carnage would've been like if Chick Norris had been involved...

Happy Easter!

Jenn Thorson said...

AWWWW! Chick Norris... that's BRILLIANT-- I wish I'd thought of it! :)

(Says I, totally ignoring your suggestion that I have a Peep problem...)

~Static~ said...

Ha ha ha! This was brilliant. I imagined Chick DeNiro at one point saying, "Are you talkin' to me?". Excellent post!

Drowsey Monkey said...

Yes, you gotta get a video cam. LOL ... LOL