Showing posts with label christmas music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christmas music. Show all posts

The "Guess That Christmas Song" Game!

Hi, and welcome to "Guess That Christmas Song"-- the holiday game show entirely without prizes, where we describe one of the season's beloved and most overplayed Christmas tunes and you guess the title!

Answers will be given in tomorrow's exciting post. It's fun for the whole family!

(Except for, y'know, Great Aunt Myrna who says she can't read anything that isn't large print... And Step-Uncle Gordon who hasn't liked anything officially since 1937.... And...)

Let's get started!:
  1. The seduction of Santa Claus by shameless gold-digger for high-end gifts.
  2. Personage looking to trap potential significant other in remote, lengthy house-bound situation prays to weather gods for excess winter precipitation
  3. Repetitious ringing celebrates crisp winter excursion via quaint seasonal vehicle
  4. Child receives relentlessly beating percussive toy for Christmas; convinces audience it's his gift to them
  5. Doo-wop dancing around the indoor conifer, where participants remain oblivious to the pre-Christmas pagan traditions it draws on
  6. Public announcement that Jesus has made his first big entrance, and if you dig the kid, you should probably pop by his delivery room and say "hi."
  7. Medieval Nordic monarch gets unexpected houseguest post-Christmas-- shares a nosh and a few toddies.
  8. Santa shows true colors by demonstrating abusive working relationship with employee sleigh-transport driver over diversity issues
  9. Bribery and threats abound, designed to keep locals in line, in anticipation of a Christmas kingpin paying a visit to his turf.
  10. Holiday depression and separation anxiety-- all wrapped in a garland of guilt-- color this song.
Thanks for playing along! See you with the answers tomorrow! (Update: December 22-- Click here for the answers!!)

Christmas Songs that Need to Be Written

The awesome beauty of crystallized precipitation... The joy of uniting with people who share a common genetic structure... Hard-shelled, protein-rich foodstuffs combusting over a potential fire-hazard... This is the stuff of Christmas song.

Yet, I can't help but feel there are other topics that reveal an even greater part of the Modern Family Christmas Experience that have not yet been addressed.

So rather than endure a 3,000th broadcast of George Michael's "Last Christmas" or McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime"-- which always make me want to puncture my eardrums with a marshmallow roasting stick-- someone needs to write about the subjects that are truly relevant to our time.

Subjects like:
  • 35 and Sleeping in the Bunk Over Grandpa
  • O Little Table of Lesser Fam, Where Dost Thou Put One's Knees?
  • Yes, Yes, Yes, I'm Still Single, Auntie (Pass the Peas)
  • Over the River and Through a Ten Car Pile Up On the Turnpike
  • Egg Nog Helps Me Forget
  • Silent Treatment for Sister
  • Dreidel, Dreidel, Spun Way Under the Couch (For my Jewish friends)
  • Guilt Brings Us Together
  • Oh Christmas Socks, Oh Christmas Socks!
  • Tales from a Christmas Form Letter
  • The Airline Peanut Feast
  • When Santa Brings Math Flash Cards
  • In the Glow of the Shining Leg Lamp
  • A Toy Worth Trampling For
  • Black Friday, Blue Christmas
  • Please Don't Eat the Garland
  • Ornament Physics with Fluffy
  • Weeping on the Keyboard (The Sappy Christmas Email Forward Song)
  • Who Stole the Light-up Baby Jesus?

...And, of course, many other soon-to-be-classic hits!

I hope this preliminary list will inspire you talented songwriters out there to really get creative and make music that reflects Christmas as we truly know it. Because I have to tell you, McCartney's really getting on my last nerve.

Help me.

Please.

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Question for today:
Any new Christmas song ideas you'd like to add to this list?

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