Father's Day Gift Ideas for Darth Vader

"Dear Dad- This Father's Day, I want to take a moment to say that even though you tried to kill me,
and convert me to the Dark Side, and you blew up my sister's home planet..."

What do you get the Dark Lord who has everything? How can a Sith celebrate Father's Day in out-of-this-world style?

At Of Cabbages and Kings, we want to make it easy for you to give Dear Old Darthly Dad the gift that won't get anyone's feelings--or tracheas--crushed.

Consider these can't-miss gift ideas:

  • Tickets to a Dark Side (of the Moon) laser light show
  • A gift certificate to Sacks Sith Avenue, for the latest in designer black cloak fashion and robot hands
  • New minions. Order 'em by the case, because you know he'll go through them.
  • Palpatine Mist, asthma treatment, in bulk. (It shows you care.)
  • A subscription to Evil Overlord Illustrated
  • George Foreman's new Bantha Barbeque Grill-- fun and heart-healthy! (Unless you're the bantha.)
  • Lightning protective gear
  • A crocheted lightsaber cozy with "Dad" embroidered on it
  • A box set of the long-running program, Space's Funniest Jedi Mind Tricks

And of course, the number one thing you can get your favorite Dark Lord for Father's Day is...

  • The droids he's looking for

Thank you, we'll be here all week folks. Enjoy the bantha steak!


Anonymous said...

Your are so frickin' funny, Jenn. And that is so awesome, because...

...you must accept that I'm still your father.

Unknown said...

I don't think you're much older than I am, Paul. But hey, if it makes ya happy on Father's Day. :)

Damian Trasler said...

This is one of the best Father's Day posts I've seen in years. As a Dad, I find the "My Dad was a superhero who earned a million dollars a day, carved me a doll's house from a live oak tree and built our family car out of lego" stories to be a LITTLE intimidating. I imagine my kids saying 'I remember the day that my dad got out of bed on a saturday. Oh no, wait..."

Unknown said...

Damian- So basically you're feeling pretty good that as a dad, you know you never dueled with your kids using futuristic weaponry AND you got out of bed on a Saturday...

Cool! :)

ReformingGeek said...

Oh my. I hope Lord Vader has a great Father's Day!

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh my word! Jenn! This is beyond HILARIOUS!! I can't stop laughing!!

Kelly said...

'A crocheted lightsaber cozy with "Dad" embroidered on it' is the one I would have picked for my Dad. He likes playing naughty jokes on the nurses at his assisted living home. I can imagine him using the crocheted light saber in a number of ways to make the nurses gasp. Great, funny post, Jenn.

Indigo Roth said...

Hey Jenn! Ooooh, long time no see. Not been over there in ages, and I'm ashamed of myself. I'll pop over here more regularly now you're in my blogroll, else I shall rend myself in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon. See if I don't. Oh my, yes. Roth