It'll be a new trend in women's businesswear! Flared trousers with salt and blood stains at the knee and down the calf, and suede knee-boots with matching salt residue trim just at the toe. Eye-makeup will coordinate with ice-scraper-shaped bruising and contusions at the temple.I think, if I play it right, it will be all the rage for the 2011 winter fashion season.
The event that spawned such design brilliance, however, some might say lacks the glamor and grace of the collection's obvious runway possibilities.
Black ice and a top layer of rain on what I thought were well-salted concrete steps sent me-- in the high-heeled boots I'd considered particularly fetching only moments before-- bouncing and jouncing down each stair, individually, like a fleshy stone skipping off a particularly unyielding lake.
Bump! Clump! Flump! Glump! Pomp! Schlump!
The heels which I never wear much because I am under normal circumstances too tall to not look like some giantess barging in uninvited on the year's hottest dwarf cocktail party were handy in one respect. Because they go up to the knee, they protected nobly considering they were not chainmail... or made by the aforementioned dwarves.
Getting up, I Dorothy Hamilled myself over to the car, and realized I had not yet made the full fashion statement I really needed for Success. So I clocked myself in the face with my own ice scraper on a particularly defiant chunk of windshield ice.
The things we do for high fashion, right ladies?
Tomorrow, I believe I will try something new. Before I leave the house, I will ensconce myself entirely in bubble wrap.
True couture innovation never ends.
