Facebook 'Like' Function Spoils Dexter Netflix Savorability Factor

Now see here, Facebook-- how can I convince you that I do not want to know?

Offline, I close my ears and childishly "la-la-la" to myself over possibly-dangerous watercooler talk.

I tell my friends "Talk to the Hand" when they start with the hearty, "Hey, did you see last night's ep--"

And I warn these good-hearted folks that mine is a No Spoiler Zone, particularly when it comes to Netflixable shows like Dexter, which I like to wait for, and savor, commercial-free.

Mother Facebook, however, has other ideas about what is good for me.

See, I had made the mistake of "Liking" Dexter on my Facebook profile. And now Mother Facebook is all up in my face, like that new agey parent who just really, really wants to be your very bestest friend and feels the most effective way to do that is by intruding all over your personal interests. 

In this case, she's determined to dish the latest on Dex. She does not care that I have been trying to avoid all details of Season 5 like medieval peasants would circumnavigate a popular plague-era rat networking convention.

No, instead Mother Facebook reacts to this by flinging tidbits of info at me into the stream of my otherwise-innocuous Facebook updates. I find I'm starting to flinch every time I see Michael C. Hall's smirking mug.

"No! No! Do not WANT! Ignorance is bliss! Flee, Michael! Away with ye! We shall reconnoiter later!"

It's like Mother Facebook is that gossipy old neighbor who takes great evil pleasure in "accidentally" letting you know she saw your husband slip across the yard to that desperate soccer mom's back porch.

So it looks like I'm going to have to "Unlike" Dexter, simply to release myself from this net of unwanted joy-crushing Facebookly media spoilage. All I can think is, it's a good thing Facebook wasn't around when The Sixth Sense and The Crying Game were out.

"Find Out How Bruce Willis Felt Playing a Ghost!"

"Read all about how Crying Game Actor Prepped for Transgendered Role!"

Yeah, yeah, we know-- and the boat sinks and Leonardo DiCaprio dies. Thanks a lot, Mother Facebook. Thanks a friggin' lot.

TV Shows Consolidate in Clever Downsizing Move

Downsizing: the workload hasn't gotten any smaller, but now there are fewer people to handle the same number of tasks. And these pressures affect our lives in some unexpected ways. One area that's being hurt by budget cuts is the upcoming television line-up. Yes, with cutbacks, fewer TV programs with costly, big name stars must still do the job of many. So television executives have chosen to tackle the challenge in a brand new, innovative way. They've created a whole new idea for programming-- TV show consolidation.

And we, here at Of Cabbages and Kings, were lucky enough to get a sneak peek at some of the series consolidations in the works:

• Dead Like the Reaper. Two teams of grim reapers compete to see who can send the most souls back to hell. But when young reaper Georgia Lass meets Sam Oliver from the opposing team, will reaping go from grim to groovy?

• Dexter Morgan's Laboratory. In this Cartoon Network feature, serial killer Dexter Morgan and his sister Deb-Deb solve crimes, all while following the trail of fellow serial killer and Dexter's archnemesis, Mandark. By making this program a cartoon, it's cut the rubber corpse and fake blood budget significantly.

• The Ghost Dog Whisperer. Is your poltergeist pooch keeping you up nights? Is your deceased doggy getting ectoplasm all over the livingroom rug? This series helps pet parents get that restless Rover to play dead once and for all. When you want to teach a dead dog new tricks, who you gonna call? The ghost dog whisperer!

• Jon and Kate Plus 24. See how a dysfunctional couple with a large family balances child-rearing with preventing terrorism on American soil. Can Jon and Kate stop a nuclear holocaust in time for the PTA meeting? Find out in this edge-of-your-seat series.
  

• 30 Rock from the Sun. A group of aliens come to earth and run a successful TV comedy show, dealing with a difficult star, an obnoxious boss and snoopy feds who suspect they're aliens and would like to dissect them. Because many of the Hollywood writers behind this show are, in fact, extra terrestrials themselves, the studio is pleased to report this has been done on a shoestring budget.

These are just a few of the programs slated for the coming months. While the recession may affect our wallets and our lifestyle, today's TV execs have proven, it doesn't have to reduce our programming fun!

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