I slit open the familiar red envelope with anticipation. I slipped the printed sleeve out and read the name printed on it in confident black lettering. It was:
The Machu Picchu Elevator
(Special 'More Llama' Edition- Now with English and Creole Subtitles)
starring:
- Gordon Chen-Murray
- Beatrice Cannes-Darling
- Jose Santa-Maria-Nina-Pinta-Escobar-de-Arte-y-Pico
- and Steve
Okay, so that wasn't really the name of it. But it might as well have been. I turned that envelope in my hand, confirmed my address on the front-- yes, yes, that was me-- and had to admit, it had happened again...
Netflix Amnesia.
For my friends outside the U.S. who may not have this, Netflix is a nifty little system by which you rent movies online. You choose a selection of films, and the Netflix folks just mail them to you, so you don't ever actually have to get dressed or leave your house.
When you're done with them, you pop 'em back in a pre-posted envelope, and mail 'em back.
Or, if you're operating on that Not Leaving Your House or Getting Dressed thing, you leave 'em for the mailman with a nice note.
It's a super little service, for this most part. Not only is it perfect for we lazy folks who don't want to be standing around a video rental place, dancing around forty other people trying to choose from a selection of the same four films, but Netflix also seems to have everything.
I mean, I know because I've tried stumping them.
Let's see, do you have....
Bowling for Anchovy Pizza, Season 2?
Yes, yes they do.
Do you have....
Cholera, the Golden Years?
Yup, present and accounted for!
How about...
Queen Elizabeth Three: Queenie's Revenge?
Yepper.
So I'm getting a chance to see a lot of films and television series I otherwise would never get a chance to enjoy. Which is terrific!
The thing is, I also tend to get swept up in the moment. So sometimes I'm online choosing films, and Netflix tells me:
"If you liked The Darjeeling Express and Cannonball Run and Pan's Labyrinth and The Teletubbies, you might also enjoy The Machu Picchu Elevator..."
And I read the little blurb and think, "Why, Netflix, you might just be right! I MIGHT just enjoy The Machu Picchu Elevator. Let's put that bad boy on my list!"
And now, my list is, like, a mile long. Meaning it can be months before I ever see The Machu Picchu Elevator in my mailbox. And a lot goes on in those couple of months to distract. Like work. And other Netflix films. And whole presidential elections.
So every now and then-- well, maybe every couple of weeks-- I am confronted by a movie title I have absolutely NO IDEA where it came from or why, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Oh, I have been moved to choose things because of Netflix Peer Pressure, where the recommendation comes so often I eventually cave in and add it to the list just to shut them up.
I have been moved to choose things because some obscure actor was in it that nobody else cares about but me and the guy's wife-- and even the guy's wife not-so-much.
I have been persuaded by well-written summary blurbs... And because something was directed by the second cousin twice removed of someone I once saw do a different Netflix movie...
And then I discover the thing has subtitles.
Well, it turns out, Netflix was right; I ended up actually liking The Machu Picchu Elevator. I give it four stars.
"If you liked the Machu Picchu Elevator, you might also enjoy: Dancing in Owen Wilson's Bathtub- V."
Ask me in three months.
------------------------------------
If you liked Netflix Amnesia, you might also like some of these other posts over at Humor-blogs.
