So you're on Twitter. And most of the folks you follow there are witty, informed, and fit the fun into 140 characters or less.
Yet there are... those people. People you know and would Unfollow, but with every lamenting Tweet, their cloud of doom and gloom always makes you so depressed, it's like, "Unfollow? Why bother? We're all going to die someday, anyway."
They're bringing down your mojo.
Or maybe you are one of those people, and your mojo is just fine where it frickkin' is, thankyouverymuch.
Well, now there's Bitter-- the new social media that condenses crabbing about everyday minutia into a social media art. It's the only social media platform that asks:
"What are you whining about today?"
Did Bath and Body Works discontinue your favorite lotion and the world is now coming to a scaly-skinned end?
Is the bread on your bologna sandwich stale, thus making you question the value of getting up in the morning?
Have you stubbed your toe and need the Internet to know about the pain and injustice endured by the innocent Piggy Who Went to Market?
Bitter is the venue for you!
Simply sign up today and Bitter's elaborate registration process is designed to give you an irritant to Bite about instantly.
MelNcollie this sign-up sux. took 3 tries to work and then didn't have username i wanted.
Then find Commiserators-- other Bitter users-- with lamentations and woes you can identify with and, if not actually pay attention to, act as a sounding board for your more real and true concerns.
Trade one-upsmanships...
SadSister12 My cat wouldn't eat her Fancy Feast this morning. I wasted a tin for nothing.
EmoShawnelle @SadSister12 Oh yeah? At least you have a cat. Mine died last month in a tragic hairball asphyxiation.
Share critical worries with the Bitterverse...
NervousNelly I think my nose has gotten bigger in the last week. Is that possible? Any doctors out there?
Naysayer56 @NervousNelly I heard if it's still growing, it pulls nerves 2 brain n causes perm. neurological damage. C ya.
Or:
NikeMike My shoelace is untied-- AGAIN!! Will life's complications never end??
So for you, or anyone looking for a perfect online outlet for what's bugs, what gnaws, what chafes unbearably against the last raw nerve--
y'know, like getting less ice cream per container yet paying more...
--choose Bitter! "When life bites... Bite back."
And tell us: What ARE you whining about today? :)
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Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs
19 comments:
I've seen these people on Twitter. Maybe now that they have a place to congregate (Bitter) they will quit bringing down the Twittosphere.
Now if you could just do something about the "Get 10-Billion new twitter followers EASY!" people. :)
Thanks Jenn!
I don't know.
Wait, maybe I'll whine about getting hit by another car. ;) Ouch...sorry, couldn't resist. Okay, I could, but well, you know.
Thankfully I don't spend enough time on twitter to see these bitter twitterers! hehe Great post. :)
DeadRooster- Just doing what I can for the Interwebz. :)
Rambler- Ah, but was the car-crash funny or the End of Life as We Know It? :) PS- Why resist? :)
LadySarcasm- You might not have followed any of 'em inadvertently.
There are whiners on twitter for sure and there are ragers as well. Can you imagine a single woman with 3 kids flipping out because I had supposedly tweeted her fantasy cyber boyfriend? Yep! It happened. princessg is a bitter pill to swallow so I'm barfing her right off my followers list. Who knows who this psychotic witch will go for next and who cares?
TimeThief- The internet is, indeed, a strange and wondrous realm. :)
I think I need a Bitter account, I stray into that category rather a lot on some days :)
I nearly tweeted about reaching for a cup of tea only to find the cup empty, it was tragic or something :)
Claire- What do you mean?!-- A lack of caffeine is often tragic!! Also, admittedly, a funny Tweet about something like that goes a long way.
If it's stream of consciousness Tweeting per moment of life, well... (INSERT APPROPRIATE BRITISH SLANG THREAT HERE) :)
I know a few bloggers who have taken the "bitter" concept into a larger medium.
That said, I think you're on to something. There's definitely a market for whiny douchebags.
Chris- Bitter/ranty's BIG in blogging. It's a whole genre.
That's actually a genius concept. Create it and watch the money roll in! I'll join for sure.
If you actually created that site, it would work.
...and I'd sign up.
Shawn- Nah-- too depressing. I'd have to Unfollow everybody who signed up. :)
John- You'd have to up your Complaining-Per-Capita. I don't think you've quite hit the levels needed for Bitter to be really effective for you. Sarcasm doesn't automatically qualify. :)
Twitter, Bitter? How about Shi...no, never mind, that's a crappy idea. I'm unfollowing myself now.
Bitter is an excellent idea. I would post my crap and never read anybody else's. Wait, that's what I do on Twitter.
I wouldn't say I'm a real Agony Aunt or anything. Sometimes I'll post something hateful about Limbaugh to weed out the conservatives who accidentally follow me.
One way I can tell that these aren't real posts is that they're properly spelled. None of those people would get 'asphyxiation' right. They're not smart enough to figure out Spellcheck.
I am all for Bitter! I would make an excellent contributor!
I'm all out of whines today. Take that, Bitter!
Mike- Heh, I think YOUR idea might catch on. Bathroom reading on the Kindle? :)
Kathcom- Hey, I follow you on Twitter, you haven't depressed me. :) And re: the fake Tweets-- next time, I'll make sure I add more typos. :)
Anna- Excellent-- this thing could really take off!!
ReformingGeek- What, no fine whine? Maybe it needs to age more. :)
Geez, I'm away from the computer for a day or two and look what I miss!
Ok, I don't actually Twitter, but Bitter seems like a really great alternative for a certain faction of the population.
And that's too bad the cat died, but mine was eaten by a hawk.
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