Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

"I'm going to check for water in the basement," said my housemate, Scoobie, hopping up from the couch Wednesday evening, and heading to the lower floor.

Now, I didn't openly scoff, but that's only because I caught it pre-scoff, somewhere in the upper uvula.

We'd had rain, sure... And okay, it was coming down like a metaphor for doom in a Creedence Clearwater Revival song,.... And, yes, it was pouring dogs and cats and baby hamsters and enthusiastic emu... And the weatherman was talking record totals and tornado watches and cloud-to-ground lightning...

But the basement had never really gotten water before. Hardly a reason to go all Monk on the situation and--

"Oh my GOD!"

The basement had gotten... um... water.

In The Odyssey, there is this giant deadly whirlpool monster Homer bangs on about-- the mighty Charybdis.

It seemed that in the space of an hour, Char-baby had decided Greece wasn't where it's at anymore, thought it'd be nice to see a little more of world, and had relocated to Pittsburgh.

In the hotbed of social activity and culture that is my unfinished basement.

Water swirled. Boxes were submerged. My art supplies were doing the backstroke. And my paint mixing bowl decided it had always wanted to be a boat, and made a temporary career change.

The spiders in the basement, of which I have many, were seeing their greatest fear in action. Yes, that downspout song they'd heard so much about as mere eggs had finally come horrifyingly true. And at least two washed out eight-leggers were swirling about in Homer's whirlpool, doing eight-legged doggy paddles and unable to hitch a lift on the paint mixing boat.

Scoobie and I started bailing.

Should you ever be in this situation, with a Greek whirlpool monster in your basement, the proper attire for whirlpool bailing is:
  • Pajamas
  • Big rubber boots
You can see by this what a sophisticated operation we were running.

Well, pretty soon, we got the water down to Slip-n-Slide levels. And while one spider was lost to the fatal waters (a moment of silence in his honor, please) the other latched on to a dry box and survived.

He's now suffering Eensy Weensy Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and has had to go to therapy to work a few things out.

I hardly blame him. I haven't fully recovered myself. And I hear that today, another hard rain's gonna fall...

Okay, yes, I know, that's Dylan and not Creedence. Take it up with the spiders and me later, 'kay?



JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, crap. Also: HAHAHA! Catching your scoff somewhere in your upper uvulua. Good stuff.

I'm sorry your basement was Charybdicized. That's happened to us several times. My preferred system is to close the door and pretend I don't have a basement.

As for the spiders, they're on their own.

moooooog35 said...

You know, I scoffed the other day.

No shit.

I had no idea I had a uvula.

Jenn Thorson said...

J.D.- I can see how the Closed Door Pretend It's Not There technique would be really tempting.

Mooog- Really? I would have thought you'd be all over a word like "uvula" from a very early age. :) Of course, you're also a hand-puppet with a face drawn on. So you may be uvula-free.

Sue said...

Pajamas and big rubber boots! LOL!!! Good to know.
Hilarious post Jenn!!

MikeWJ / Too Many Mornings said...

My basement was recently flooded with an unfortunate mixture of water and rotten chicken stew, so please believe me when I say that I'm truly sorry to hear Charybdis paid you a visit. But have you checked your backyard? I hope she didn't steal your oxen, too.

Nooter said...

...pouring dogs and cats, yeah right. like we would ever work together..

Jenn Thorson said...

Sue- Better get your rubber boots and non-matching PJs now, because mark my words, by fall they'll be all the rage! :)

Mike- I'm curious about the chicken stew inclusion, but am somewhat afraid to ask.

Given the size of my backyard, only slightly larger than a table placemat, (I call it The Back Four), I could get possibly one ox there... Possibly an ox and a third...

Which might have flooded in, making for an interesting rotten beef stew in my basement. :)

Jenn Thorson said...

Nooter- How do you feel about emu? :)

chyna said...

As someone who has had numerous flooding in her basement I feel for you both. Mine floods up from the floor drain, I think it has an identity crisis. :(

Has got me to the point that if I smell anything vaguely watery coming from the basement and I'm panicking. Water out just doesn't happen at my location.

Jenn Thorson said...

Chyna- Poor Scoobie's not long out from having her own house, now, too-- so it's ironic (and crappy) that this had to happen to her stuff while she was here. Heh, I hope she doesn't sue the homeowner for damages-- y'know: me.

Y'know, I don't think of your state even being... watery.

Greg said...

Hopefully, Scoob will see it as a blessing that her stuff has been downsized.

We are having some rather heavy rains just now, as well, probably the same storm you were enjoying yesterday. Very glad to live on the second floor, but terribly sorry I let the Catsby convince me to leave all the windows open when I came to work.

Wishing a few sunny days for all of us and our gardens, now that everything's so well watered!

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

That's now my new name for the uvula (like THAT'S a word I use every day) . . . the Scoff-catcher.

Jenn Thorson said...

Greg- Here's hoping the storms don't pound your friends the plants too much! They were, um, zesty and exciting here.

Chris- "Uvula" rocks because how many words have two Us... plus a bonus "la"?

Da Old Man said...

Oh, Jenn, I am so totally bummed that you and Scoobie had to go through this. Growing up, every heavy rain meant potential flooding in our basement. The first time we got between 3 and 4 cinder blocks high. It was mixed with sewage, which was a treat. After that, sump pumps were installed and helped somewhat. To this day, I still start to shake whenever it rains more than a light sprinkle.
Our street often flooded, and it was so deep, cars and trucks would get stuck, and drivers would get out into waist deep water. Manhole covers would come off, and yes, we had real whirlpool monsters.
I need to lay down now. I'm having a flashback.

Shawn said...

Man...basement flooding and it couldn't even rid your of all your spiders? What good is it?

Jenn Thorson said...

Da Old Man- There, there... put a nice cold compress on your head, take two White Castle Hamburgers, and you'll feel better. :)

Yes, in Jersey one of my friends' homes was flooded perpetually. I've been lucky to date, I really shouldn't complain.

ReformingGeek said...

Very funny post. Sorry about the basement. I wish you could send some of that rain down here.

Those poor emu. I hope they are OK from their exposure to the elements.

Maybe PETA can find a way to save the spiders.

Kathy said...

"Eensy Weensy Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome" Ha! You have a decidedly different take on a flooded basement than we did. There was no laughing whatsoever. Also, I'm assuming you're smarter than us. We flooded twice before getting a sump pump. We are the Idiots Frederick.

babs said...

Yay on the Dylan. :). Sometimes, creedence doesn't do it justice, so you have to go the "it's a hard rain going to fall." I used to quote it similarly during epic rains when I was living in a place where there more of them. Still, occasionally call a monsoon here one, but it's not quite the same.

Jenn Thorson said...

Shawn- The spiders and I have sort of a detante relationship... I let them be if they get rid of the buggies that scare me more-- these weird furry centipedes. I think it's a good deal.

ReformingGeek- I hear the emu have drive off and are doing nicely, thanks. And yes, I would have a lot to answer for with Peta, given their recent Presidential Fly incident.

Kathy- I'm sorry you've had to go through this. Me, I have to laugh, lest I cry. I need to clean for a friend coming to visit over the fourth of July, but I can't get cleaned up from the flood yet enough to get to it!

Babs- It's amazing, though, how many "portentiously evil rain" songs there seem to be for Creedence. It's no wonder Stephen King quotes them so much in his books.

John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer said...

Yeah, that sucks. I've been through similar things.

What I want to know is, when the hell did PA get pushed to the Pacific Northwest? All it's been doing is raining here.

Jenn Thorson said...

John- You and me both, John! It was pouring again last night and all I could think was, "AWWWW are ya kidding me? AGAIN?!"

I mean, I don't expect Hawaiian blue skies, but something less than rainforest precipitation levels would be nice.

babs said...

The only other evil Creedence song I can think of is "Bad Moon Rising." Which I think, Battlefield Band, a Scottish pipe bandish covered. It worked and shouldn't have.

Jenn Thorson said...

Babs- Have You Ever Seen the Rain, Bad Moon Rising, and "Who'll Stop the Rain?" Seem to be Creedence's triumverate of weather-based impending doom. :) Could be fun on Scottish pipes!

babs said...

Thanks. Couldn't think of them. And I only have Creed on my I-tunes.