In this day and age of $4.00 gas and emissions concerns, carpooling is good for the environment, AND the wallet. But, Friends of Cabbages, I urge you to think long and hard about choosing the right carpool companions. And this is why.
At my previous job, the office was roughly a 45 minute commute during weekday traffic, and one of the guys in my department-- we'll call him "The Knave"-- he lived not-so-far from me, and he didn't have a car. So rather than him taking two buses and spending three hours each day just getting to work, we carpooled. He paid for some of the gas.
Now the Knave, who I actually work with at my current job as well, is a good guy-- funny and self-aware. My friendship with him runs toward the similar-sense-of-humor-only-he-likes-to-test-me-occasionally dynamic. There's some Little Brother Instinct that bubbles up occasionally in him, and when his actual siblings are not available, it extends to ME. Most of the time, I'm prepared for this...
But sometimes I am poorly-caffeinated and driving.
Like the day he decided to introduce me to William Shatner singing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
Were you aware William Shatner had a brief singing career?... If you can call the enthusiastic spoken word crescendos and dénouements of the former Captain James T. Kirk "singing"... yes, in fact, he did! You can enjoy one hysterical video example of his stylings by clicking here.
At the time, I was not aware of this. And while manning my Saturn one morning, I really didn't have a proper handle on what was about to ensue...
Meaning, I didn't slap the Knave's hands and fling the disk from his grasp when he started messing with my CD player.
Imagine: it's early morning. The sun is just creeping over the Western Pennsylvania Appalachians, a mist hanging heavy along the roadway and the coffee still steaming in the travel mug in the cup holder...
I am thinking about the work day ahead of me... copy to write, projects to wind up...
And then comes Mr. Shatner bursting from the audio system shouting at a million decibels, in iambic pentameter:
...The GIRL with ka-LEI-do-scope EYESSSSS!!!
And that's when I ran off the road.
So, if you plan to carpool, think about who you choose to ride with. Do not permit them access to your sound system, no matter how they beg, or how groggy you may be.
Most of all, just say "no" to all things Shatner while operating heavy machinery. It is for your safety, as well as the safety of your fellow drivers. Drive carefully-- and Shatner-free.
Thank you.
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Picture yourself, in a boat, on a river, using your portable laptop to vote for this post over at Humor-blogs. :)
