The recent time change means lighter mornings, darker nights... and that once again I would need to take on the daunting task of setting the clock in my car radio.
What was a simple, intuitive two-second act in my last car, has in my new one become a complex endeavor rivaling Super-String Theory in Theoretical Physics. And about as tangible.
Which is why, last year, it was December and I was still driving around with the clock the wrong time. I figured I could just mentally add one hour to the time for a few months, and then eventually we'd be back to daylight savings time again, anyway.
Yes, this is how I roll.
But my dad was visiting at the Christmas holiday. And we were doing a lot of driving around. And inevitably, he got tired of seeing the wrong time blinking at him every time he looked at the clock. And felt, with his Ultra-Super-Mega-Technological Skillz, he could easily correct this bit of simple consumer tech piffle.
It was the moment that almost broke him.
Picture it. I'm driving. He's sitting in the passenger seat with the instruction book. We were on our way on a sunny winter day to an indoor flea market.
It took ten minutes, first, for him to find info on setting the time. Because did the book list it under "C" for "Clocks"? Or "T" for "Time?"
Nope. It was listed in the index under "S."
For "Setting the Time."
Naturally.
Now, here I should explain... The Pop, he's one of those people who firmly believes he's really calm, and procedural, and laid back, and this go-with-the-flow sorta guy. Pretty much Gandhi in the body of Chevy Chase.
And while he can be easy-going at times, in fact, mostly... er... he isn't. One little thing can set him off, and he doesn't forgive a lack of logic easily. So the "S"-- I knew it was only the beginning.
Pop: "S? S?!! What is wrong with these people?"
I could hear his blood starting to bubble. I could see him questioning the thought processes of every single person who works at Saturn. I could hear him wondering what kind of person -- me-- was silly enough to buy a car with a clock with instructions under "S'. "
The day could be ruined by "S." I'd be hearing about "S" clear through New Year's. Next New Year's.
I tried to head it off.
Me: "Pop, it's okay. You found it. What do the instructions say?" (subtext: look, shiny object!)
Pop: (grumble) "Fine... 'Setting the Time'... Well, are we 'Setting the Time for Radios without Radio Data Systems' ? Or 'Setting the Time for Radios with Radio Data Systems'?"
Me: "What's a Radio Data System?"
Pop: "Don't you know?"
Me: "I just drive it."
One point more down for me. First I drive a car with the instructions under "S". Then I don't know my stereo system.
After ten minutes we discovered that the radio had a button that said "RDS."
We still don't know what that button does exactly-- although we did learn that the "Radio Data System" seeks stations that put out... er... Radio Data. (Translation: You can read the station's call letters and sometimes song information in the little screen in the middle.)
So, okay. We determined I had RDS. So...
Pop: "'Setting the Time for Radios with Radio Data Systems (RDS)...'
'Press and hold the RCL button and at the same time press the HR (AUTO EQ left) or MN (AUTO EQ right) arrows...
'You will hear a beep indicating that you can change the time.'
(Pause)
Pop: "There are no HR and no MN buttons."
Now, remember, I'm driving here. So I'm trying to keep one eye on the road, and the other on Dad-- who was once a director of biomedical engineering and an adjunct professor of electronics at a local university-- but is now just randomly pushing buttons on the car stereo.
Me (peering, pointing): "There's an 'AUTO EQ' button there."
So Dad pushed the "RCL" button while pushing the "AUTO EQ" button. And nothing beeped.
RCL... AUTO EQ....
Nope.
RCL... AUTO EQ... HOLD, HOLD, HOLD...
By now, my father has forgotten all about our nice drive into the country to the indoor flea market. He has forgotten all about it being Christmas Eve, a time of togetherness and family and goodwill and peace and joy and...
He is in a full-out war with my clock-radio.
Pop: "Rassnfrassnshassn, how long do I have to hold this blasted bugger down?"
....BEEP!!
My father sighs a sigh of relief. So do I.
Pop: "'Release the RCL button'-- it's about time-- 'and press HR until the correct hour appears on the display.'"
Of course, there was no HR button. There was only AUTO EQ.
Pop: "So HR is..."
Me, swerving on the road to look: "The left arrow."
Pop: "Why don't they just SAY the left arrow?"
Me: "Because it's HR."
The Pop, his blood-pressure now barely being controlled by his morning medicine, he overshoots the correct hour three times and keeps having to go back.
I was concerned I would be the only driver on Christmas Eve that had to explain to the local police the total human spontaneous combustion which occurred within my car interior.
Pop: "There! Finally!... 'Press MN until the correct minute appears on the display."
Me: "The RIGHT arrow."
It was about this time I realized that "HR" stood for "Hour" and "MN" stood for minute and I figured I better not mention that to my dad, or his brain really might have exploded right there in the car, and I'd just had it detailed.
So the Pop spent a certain amount of time pushing the right arrow, and then the minutes were set, too.
I thought of this as I reread the instructions this morning.
You see, the Pop will be visiting again over the Christmas holiday, and I figured it might just be a smart move to already have the time set.
I noticed, this morning, at the bottom of the instructions was this alternate time-setting suggestion.
"To synchronize the time with an FM station broadcasting Radio Data System information, press and hold the RCL and RDS buttons at the same time for two seconds until SET RDS Time appears on the display."
Cool! I thought, the easy way out. My favorite station, WYEP, does indeed broadcast RDS information!
So I held down the RCL. Then the RDS.
One second... two seconds...
Nothing.
"If the time is not available from the station, NO RDS TIME SET will appear on the display."
Of course, nothing at ALL appeared on the display. Um, did I mention I'm on blood pressure medicine, too?
I'd love to hear about YOUR high tech frustrations if you'd care to share 'em!
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