As the city of Pittsburgh sleeps-off both beer buzz and the joy of Superbowl stardom, the portly, furred figure of George Groundhog casts a lone shadow on the littered downtown streets, protest sign in hand.
"Yeah,
But Can the Steelers Defend
Against Six More Weeks
of Winter?"
...the sign reads.
In an Of Cabbages and Kings exclusive interview, George Groundhog explains: "This year, more than ever before, Groundhog Day has been pushed to the wayside simply because of a childish team sport. I'm here to remind the world that, Steelers' win or not, February 2 is coming and it decides just how many weeks you'll be slogging through the snowdrifts....
"Let's see whether your Terrible Towels will keep your windshields free of road salt. Or how well your Polamalu jerseys keep you warm in minus 10 degree temperatures. I suggest you give the holiday its due."
Harsh words from Pennsylvania's Third Most Famous Groundhog!
But our in-depth investigation shows George Groundhog has made a career of stirring up controversy. His landmark protest of the filming of Groundhog Day led to a now-legendary blow-up on the set with lead actor Bill Murray.
Complaints over the film's noticeable non-groundhog focus, and the use of Hollywood groundhog actors instead of local talent reportedly held up filming for weeks.
On the set, Murray was reported as saying, "George, that rat bastard! I haven't had a rodent steal my limelight like that since Caddyshack. I swear, I'm ready to prep the plastic explosives."
In 2007, George also made headlines by publicly chastising his own cousin, Gus, for "lowering the collective groundhog reputation" as the Pennsylvania Lottery's official spokesrodent.
"Do we want the groundhog to symbollize the flagrant waste of hard-earned money on pipe dreams? Or do we want the groundhog to truly mean something? Ask yourself."
Gus was not available for comment.
And while not everyone agrees that the Superbowl has taken the shine off Groundhog Day festivities, analysts are seeing some support for his sentiments in the Groundhog-American community.
In fact, as the dawn rises on Heinz Field, a small cluster of local groundhogs have gathered, with picket signs sharing their own concerns.
"In the Shadow of Superbowl Mania" reads one.
"Six Superbowl Rings or Six Weeks of Winter?" says another.
"Where Were You February 2?" expresses a third.
And "Forget Not The Hog," expresses a last message.
So far their organization has been non-violent, but pending citywide parades and Steelers celebration, time will tell how this epic battle of Man versus Marmot plays out.
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Are the groundhogs organizing in your area? Do you think George Groundhog has a paw to stand on with this? Of Cabbages and Kings would like to hear from you!
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