The Pittsburgh Penguins are doing well in the Stanley Cup finals, and finally beat the Rangers in the series this weekend. There, they'd faced former Penguins star and over-all moody bloke, Jaromir Jagr. I hadn't seen Jagr for a while (I'd always been a Ron Francis gal, myself), so when local news did an interview with Jags, I was a little surprised at the new look he was sporting.
I mean, I know the playoffs tend to set off some interesting superstions. Like eating 50 pounds of meat before a game.... Not washing a "lucky" pair of socks.... Chanting something in Czech forty thousand times...
But for Jagr, it seems he's exchanged his famous mullet for a decent haircut, and then added, er... this....
This facial... er... goatee-oriented...
Um.... Hitler mustache chin stripe combo... thing.
So okay, normally, I abstain from the kind of humor where someone is made fun of unmercifully. Someone who isn't, you know, me. Because that brand of humor is cheap and easy, and not cool really, and it's certainly not like I'm Ms. Perfect or anything...
I mean, in the 80s, my hair had its own zipcode.
But really-- Jagr... Jags... sweetie... what were ya thinking?
On the interview, I can't even tell you what he said. Why? Because I was too busy looking at this expression of hairy line art.
And as I'd just written a few weeks ago about what would happen if a presidential candidate tried to campaign with a Hitler mustache, Jagr's appearance just seemed timely.
So, I ask you, what do you think brought on this new look?
Did he think the Pens would just let him cruise through unscathed because he was channeling his inner dictator?
Did he think Sidney Crosby would back off because once Hitler shows up, the tanks are sure to follow?
And what about the "soul patch" with a little extra soul that extends beyond his chin like a tiny hairy diving board?
Why is it perfectly centered with the mustache?
Is it an example of goatee OCD?
Needless to say, I've been entirely useless during any sports interview that's come on featuring Mr. Jagr. I'm eating dinner and I stop in mid-bite, unable to look away. It's mesmerizing.
I admit to having a similar problem with toupees.
Anyway, I open it up to you all. Is this some totally cool look that I'm too much of a nerd to truly appreciate? Should I rush right out and find me a guy sporting this fine Hitler-Shaggy style while the getting is good?
Mr. Blackwell-- your opinion, please.
---------------------------------------------------------------
You know, they laugh at Hitler moustaches over at Humor-blogs.
