(Today's guest-poster, Miss Kitty, is editor of Mewsweek magazine
and award-winning author of Cats are from Leo, Dogs are from Sirius .)
and award-winning author of Cats are from Leo, Dogs are from Sirius .)
Spelling and grammar... The fundamentals of good communication-- right up there with a powerful swat, a loud meow and crashing through the newspaper sports section.
Humorous photos of cats are among the top searched of all items on the Internet. And cat bloggers are winning niche awards, and gaining added popularity with movie and merchandising deals...
In other words, we cats are finally beginning to take our rightful place as leaders of the civilized world.
Yet with this new influence comes a trend that detracts from our successes. Minimizes our fine minds. And is done with our own permission. Yes, I'm talking about the urban slang, "Catbonics."
Popularized in writing techniques used by the LOLCatz, catbonics has turned traditional grammar and spelling on its head. And humans lap it up like cream! ...
"I can haz" this... "I can haz" that. What you can haz, LOLCat, is a freakin' grammar book and a good solid dictionary. You know what they are. Try using them for a change! It simply isn't so very cute anymore.
Ahem.
I admit, I do feel passionate about this subject. But it's only because what these otherwise intelligent felines do not realize is that with every "I can haz"...
With every "wuv"...
With every desperate, needy, cutesy-wootsy way of catching human attention like some fur-and-whiskers version of "Girls Gone Wild"...
These cats are bringing the rest of us down. Subjugating us to simple court jesters whose purpose is to amuse the human king with pratfalls and willful ignorance.
I say it must be stopped and stopped now.
So for all of you connected cats out there reading today, I entreat you: stand up on your own four feet and show the world what you're really made of. You are a noble creature. Don't pander for attention. Eschew kitschy spelling and silly kitten-talk and instead, be true to yourself. Will you still be LOLing when the next generation can no longer read the writing on the Fancy Feast?
I think not.
And for the humans out there who share these photos, I leave you with this: by making us the brunt of your jokes, by finding amusement in our moment of poor coordination on the scratching post... an inadvertent slide into the refrigerator... does this say more about us?.... or about you?
And remember-- when you next can't find your Canon Powershot for a few days, and you see a flash as you trip on something on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night...? I would think long and hard about your position on this topic.
LOLHumanz might just be coming to a Blogspot this spring.
Thank you for your time today.
--Miss Kitty
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