Cast YOUR Vote for Back-up Girl's Backup Sidekick!

The City of BurghTown...


When last we left our heroine Back-up Girl, she'd been hit hard by the Godfather of Gross-- Influ Enzo and his mob family.

Right now they're pestilentially plotting to pack a punch to the personal pep of the poor paralyzed populace!...

But with all of BurghTown's pre-approved and properly-insured A-list superheroes currently busy with other more pressing obligations...

Who will save BurghTown from this disaster of dysentery waiting to be dispensed?

For the first time ever, Back-up Girl needs backup herself-- and fast!... And you, good Cabbages readers, can help her!

Yes--- between his 2 o'clock nap and his 3pm cookie-and-Yoo-Hoo break, Mayor Skippy will be sending the Deputy Mayor to the only remaining place in BurghTown where they might still be able to find a superhero to save them...

It's the last resort.
No, really.

Here at The Last Resort Karaoke Bar and Grill, B-, C- and D-list superheroes with extra time on their hands get together, pour out their sorrows, and commiserate on their careers.

And-- why, I believe we have one of them here now!

Is that...?! Yes-- it IS!..
It's Third Banana-- BurghTown's popular simian sidekick to other BurghTown sidekicks!

Over the years, Third Banana has worked alongside The Cloned Stranger's mono-syllabic Native American guide Pronto...

He's lent a hand to GuanoGuy's junior partner, Nuthatch, the Boy Stumbler...

And he's even traveled through time, as in-ship mechanic for Doctor Doe's robot cat, Mr. Rivets.

Third Banana's super-secret backup powers include his black belt in Chim Pan-Zee, super-psychedelic hypnotic eyes, and his deep understanding of quantum bananaramadynamics.

He also enjoys playing guitar and taking long walks on the beach.

Hurray!-- BurghTown is saved!

But wait! Third Banana isn't the only superhero here at The Last Resort. No!

Fresh from singing a well-meaning, yet painfully off-key karaoke version of "Wind Beneath My Wings," here we find...
... Miss Congeniality!

And what luck! This Gal of Goodness, this Champion of Cheer, this Diva of Diplomacy stands as a Beacon of Backup for everyone who ever followed their dreams to the very end-- and still got the shaft.

Her astounding talents include her tooth-enamel blind-beam, the whiplash sash, and a genuine BurghTown license as a certified mediator.

Well, this isn't going to be an easy choice, is it?!

But... look! Over there in the shadows of the karaoke stage...

Who's that in the neon green-and-black Tron tribute costume, knocking back a Jell-O shot?...

Why, the Deputy Mayor hasn't seen this hero in ages! It's Captain Cassette, the Totally High-Tech SuperGenius Circa 1984!...
Captain Cassette has been retired and freelancing for over a decade, having been replaced by the backup crime fighting duo, LANman and DigiDog, in the early 90s.

Ah, but Captain Cassette had known serious power. He could instantly recall and playback anything he ever heard-- though if you made him recount it more than a few times, his voice sounded a little warped and crackly for the retelling.

Combined with his super magnetic strength, Captain Cassette could tie up any villain in tape. Crime was going nowhere when he was on the job!

So here is where we need you all: who should be Back-up Girl's backup?

Should it be:

a.) Captain Cassette?
b.) Third Banana?
or
c.) Miss Congeniality?
Cast your vote in the comments section, and around Wednesday of next week, we'll reveal the rest of our exciting story.

BurghTown is counting on you, friends!

Have a super weekend!
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Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs

Brotherhood of the Probable Pummeling

Imminent death. That's what I expected the day three Theta Xi brothers discovered I was the person behind a particular weekly sheep comic strip.

It was in college, right before writing class. And in my comic's storyline a few weeks before, I'd made a cheeky reference to the Theta Xi fraternity and our woolly friends.

It was a common enough campus joke, hearkening back to some unfortunate Sheep Violation Incident in the fraternity's past. (Unfortunate, mostly for the sheep, as I'd heard it). Anyway, the comic got printed and I thought nothing else about it...

Until I had to drop off a new strip after class.

Well, the Theta Xi boys... there were at least three of them in this course. Three largish guys I didn't know very well. And when one of them spotted the drawings, he nudged the two other fellows, drawing their full frowning, squinting attention my way.

I swear, stormclouds rolled in and thunder rumbled overhead.

The central Theta brother leaned in to me, eyes narrowed, as if trying to burn my face deep into his memory. "YOU draw that comic?"

I tried to will myself invisible, but remembered too late that that had never effectively worked. "Yes."

I think I could have finished War and Peace in the painful pause that followed-- which wasn't even appropriate, as Russian literature was covered in an entirely different class.

And suddenly, the clouds parted. Golden sunshine beamed in through the classroom window and a bluebird lit on the windowsill.

The Theta Xi brother offered me a broad, radiant smile, reserved normally for toothpaste ads and game show hosts. "I love that comic! You know the one where you mentioned Theta Xi?"

"Er... I'm familiar with it..."

"I have that on the door to my room. Don't I, guys? Don't I have that taped to the door of my room?"

Yes, yes, they all agreed he had it taped to the door of his room.

I dabbed the sweat from my forehead and neck, careful to not dampen my comic's panels and make the markers run.

This was my very first bit of audience feedback.

So tell me, fellow bloggers and creative-types, has your work ever gotten response from a very unexpected audience? I'd love to hear about it.

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