I hated to break the news to him but it had to be done. Like a Band-Aid on hair-- the faster it's off, the more merciful.
"Pop," I said, bracing for the inevitable, "Monk is ending this season."
And yup-- NASA astronauts heard my father's anguished cries from their latest space mission.
The same thing happened when Riptide was canceled in the '80s.
You probably don't even remember it, since it was only on for about two seasons. But that quirky private-eye-computer-geek team made a deep impression on the Pop.
Chicks in bikinis, orange remote control robots, geeks with taped glasses, detective-work, palm trees and fast boats... As far as Dad was concerned, it had all the elements of classic entertainment. And twenty-five years later, the Pop is still in mourning.
I'm surprised he's not wearing a Hawaiian printed arm-band with a computer chip glued to it, in memory of the thing.
Then there was the recent Stargate SG-1 exodus, and Pop is feeling the withdrawal symptoms of that, too. Stargate... where we go from planets with unsubtley-spacified ancient Earth cultures to vaguely metaphorical interplanetary social commentary on adventures with:
- A big dude with better eye-makeup than mine carrying the soul of a psychic tadpole between his man-boobs...
- A brilliant female scientist who shows that brilliance doesn't prevent you from being captured and sold as a sex slave every other episode...
- Another scientist mainly for exposition and frowning
- MacGyver in uniform
I was concerned when I first read Stargate SG-1 was going off the air, because I knew what it meant to the Pop. I mean, I'd sat through some episodes with him. I'd heard him dub it the "finest science fiction program to date." Far superior to the Stargates that followed, I understand. Something, it would seem, just short of Shakespeare but with more forehead prosthetics.
And I was right: I'd barely shared the bad news of its cancelation when he'd cycled into the tried-and-true, "How come everything that's any good is canceled?" recap.
"Dad, it was on for ten years," I reassured him. "We had two presidents, two wars, the dot-com boom, 9/11, iPod technology and Rosemary and Olive Oil Triscuits in that time."
But based on the previous Riptide loss, his Sudden Series Abandonment Syndrome (SSAS) has kicked in. In the face of painful loss, he is not willing to forgive.
And now Monk.
"I was just getting into that and now it's cancelled," he sighed. "Just like Riptide. And look what happened to Stargate SG-1! You know, that was the finest sci-fi program ever made?"
Absolutely, Pop. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry...
Perhaps someday they'll make a pill to ease the pain of Sudden Television Series Abandonment Syndrome. To soothe, to help him forget.
Until then, there are DVDs, and I've sent him a box full of them. Eye-makeup-dude, sex slave scientist and Admiral MacGyver can live on forever, in those beautiful iridescent disks.
I hope it brings him some joy... washes away the anguish of missions unfinished... cultures unexplored... and the bitter, salty taste of tears unshed...
In the meantime-- According to Jim, ER, and Kath and Kim live on...
Television... she's a capricious little minx.
------------------------------------
Do you suffer from Sudden Television Series Abandonment Syndrome? Did a show go off the air that you still miss? Or is there anything on TV you can't believe is still running? I'd love to hear about it!
--------------------------------------------
Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs
Bloggerella
