Ever read the local TV listings and marvel at their ability to cram the plot of an epic film into just a few words? Unfortunately, sometimes space constraints mean they might have to overlook a few of the nuances.
So this had me thinking, what if the same folks who summarize television shows and movies had to write up listings for classic books?
Well, I think they might go something like this:
- The Telltale Heart, by Edgar Allen Poe. Half-blind elderly man gets in bad rental situation.
- Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Sports fishing contest strains nerves.
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. A young man's lifelong struggle with anger management issues, domestic abuse and hygiene problems.
- Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare. Hormonal teens and their families enact Jerry Springer-like drama.
- The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Single mother makes "A" of herself with local preacher.
- Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain. Head injury patient experiences a couple of rough knights.
- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Coming of age tale says "Boo" to racism.
- The Odyssey by Homer. Ancient Greek goes on road-trip, meeting a rag-tag team of misfits along the way.
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Teacher strives to overcome classism, sexism and an erratic, non-union employment situation.
- The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. Frenchman in frame-job seeks justice, revenge, and inspires tasty sandwich.
- Bridge of San Luis Rey by Thornton Wilder- Shoddy public works department effort in Peru leads to potential lawsuit.
- Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll- Indigestion of picnic lunch triggers colorful socio-political dream sequence.
- Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy. Jude carries pain of the world on his shoulders before getting McCartney's good advice.
- Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. Rejection of adopted child with a disability turns love to hate and overseas travel.
- Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. Amber Alert candidate goes too far with real-life MySpace page and child predator.
- Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. Man acts as connection between bigwigs and the little people.
- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Five sisters in rural district seek 29 dimensions of compatibility before the invention of online dating.
- Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. An artist finds a corrupt male model puts too much of himself into his work.
Have any you'd like to add to this list? Just let me know!
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23 comments:
Great Concept. :)
How about Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck: Two pals find more than they bargained for at work.
Da Old Man- Ah, good one! Nice addition. :)
Animal Farm -- a bunch of farm animals discover their slogan "We will work harder" doesn't work and need a government bail out.
Oh, wait a minute....I'm confused. But great post!!
Meg- NICE!-- Orwell would have appreciated the updated satire, I think. :)
This was genius. I'm going to go stumble this right now!
Nanny Goats- Hey, thanks a bunch! Much appreciated.
ROFLOL! Too funny. And it just so happens, I saw "Tale of Two Cities" summarized on the tv screen this morning. London lawyer makes ultimate sacrifice for love during reign of terror.
Melanie- Ah, I can always count on you, Melanie, to get in the spirit of things here! :) Excellent.
Oh, man, Jenn...these are AWESOME!
(You can't see me, but I'm making vigorous bowing motions toward you right now...)
Literate AND funny! My favorite!!!!
XO
Anna
Lol! How about:
The Old Man and the Sea: An old man goes fishing but doesn't have much luck.
Anna- Hey, you don't know how delighted I am that folks get it and play along! THAT'S the real heart-cockle warmer. :) Thanks a bunch.
GrumpyOldCoder- Excellent-- thanks for tackling (pun coincidental) Hemingway for us!
"Can anyone summarize war and peace ?"
Jaffer- Well, I'm out of the running, as I haven't made the attempt to read that particular one. :) Maybe some brave soul will step forward. Jaffer?? Are you volunteering? :)
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens - Old and new friends come over for a visit
Here's my shot at Count Leo's work...
War and Peace by Leo Tolsty - Six Russians encounter thousands of others as slavic emotions erupt.
Doug
@Jenn Thorson - I didn't even survive reading the summary on Wikipedia !
So many characters, so many stories ...zzz...zzz...zzz...
Doug- Heh, and several of the thousand having some iteration of the name "Ivan" in it. :) Brave fellow for stepping forward and giving us Leo.
Jaffer- Seriously! Not easy to pare that down into a few words.
Oh, at last!! I was locked out of all Blogger blogs - they seemed to think I was a spybot. Cheek!! All's well now, but I couldn't post a thing for a while there!
I love these - yes, indeed, the TV guide has a language all of its own doesn't it? LOL!
Jay- Oh, well certainly glad to have you back among the Blogger. I will vouch for you not being a nefarious spy.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Coming of age tale says "Boo" to racism.
:) That was quite a hoot. Loved this.
Stumbled
Hey, thanks, Hammy!! :)
Brilliant!
Stumbled.
Love the concept. I wish I thought of it.
You've been Stumbled.
John and Unicorns- Hey thanks, folks! :)
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