So What Do YOU Think It Is?


I've got a number of biggish work projects to focus on, but didn't want you all to think I was neglecting you. So I have a quick little something for you today, and will return tomorrow with a fun, more traditional Cabbagey story.


This was the nightstand of my hotel room when I went to Philly in September. I was looking around the room for any sort of information on how to hook up my laptop, when I spied this rather peculiar fastener-type lock bolted to the end-table. Here is a closer look.

You will note, in addition to it seemingly serving no purpose whatsoever at the moment, it is also... well... gross. What is that goo in the interlocking areas? WD-40?

I'm hoping for WD-40.

Anyway, what possible purpose do you think this thing was supposed to have served?

All theories, credible answers and wholly incredible yet amusing responses will be appreciated and savored.

--------------------------------------------------
Humor-blogs.com
Humorbloggers

35 comments:

Mark said...

I'd need to have a clue about how old the furniture and motel are. Seems like it's a leftover from an earlier communications system. Totally guessing though.

Jenn Thorson said...

Mark- The motel is currently under renovation, and stylistically looks like it was last done in the 70s.

The furniture itself is a fiberboard type put-it-together-yourself style of furniture, which came to popularity in the late 80s, early 90s.

I was initially considering there might have been a clock-radio there, but it's seriously far away from the bed, to reach it.

Chat Blanc said...

okay, first--ewwww! gross is right. my guess is it was a thingy (technical name) to hold a TV remote control.

Jenn Thorson said...

Hm- So folks would have to change channels while standing by the end table... Ah, the epitome of high tech convenience. :)

Kathy said...

I agree with Chat Blanc. It is to bolt the remote down. I've seen that before. In hotels of the crap variety. Actually, I might need one of those in my house, then I wouldn't have to go fishing through couch cushions for 10 minutes trying to find it!

Jenn Thorson said...

Kathy- I'm not denying your theory.

But if you have to physically GET UP and stand at the end table to change the channel, then you might as well just go the extra two feet to the TV to change the darned thing.

Oh wow-- it's very possible they really weren't thinking that through.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

It looks like a key hole of some kind. You weren't staying in room 1408 by any chance?

Jenn Thorson said...

Meg- No, thankfully I wasn't-- and also, I didn't have visions of creepy twin girls who wanted me to play with them forever and ever... And I didn't wake up with the word "redrum" written on my bathroom mirror.

I just had a really hard time finding out that there was wireless computer access at the hotel, and that I couldn't dial out long-distance, in spite of the fact the in-room instructions said I could. :)

Jaffer said...

Well, I do think it's a hook to hold something and I do think that it was supposed to go on the wall !

It's purpose must have been very mundane like holding the drapes in place.

Perhaps the table was moved from the lobby where the hook was used to keep a fancy vase in place.

Perhaps it was used to hold a pencil-cup/notepad holder. A walk-man docking station ?

My best guess is that it may have once been next to the bed, holding a bed-vibrator. (Not the naughty kind)

Melanie said...

Ewww! You don't really truly want to know what it's for do you? I mean it could change you forever knowing you'd slept the night in a room with-- that!

Actually, I had the same idea as Jaffer, that is once held the part of the bed vibrating thingy that you stuck quarters in.

As for that gunk being WD-40, well, you just keep believing that if it will give you some comfort. ;)

JD at I Do Things said...

My first thought was what Jaffer said, tho I can't see how you would fit the coins in. But I bet it is a remote holder-downer. I know I've stayed in at least one room where the remote was literally bolted down SO FAR from the bed it was ridiculous.

JD at I Do Things

Jaffer said...

I actually was thinking about those modern bed-vibrators with alarm-clocks.

The alarm-clock part would have been fastened to the table.

No coins required.

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Since the table is a nightstand, I think it probably came from, if not this room at least, another guest room.

While the vibrating bed/coin idea might work, there wasn't any remaining cords or anything to connect it. Also, it's really far from the bed. Of course, it's possible that the nightstand might have been on the opposite side of the bed at one time, where it would be slightly closer.


Melanie- Well, no, maybe I DON'T want to know what it is-- it could be a case of "Ignorance is Bliss." But it's good for a laugh, anyway. For my peace of mind, it will be WD-40. :)

JD- So that makes three votes so far for a Remote Control Bolter-Downer. (Technical term.)

All I can say is, I sure hope, when they renovate the rest of the hotel as they currently are the lobby, they do something about the nightstand.

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Now, it IS true that the room did not have any sort of alarm clock. So it's certainly possible that this held some sort of clock.

But like the other hotel convenience items suggested, it would be REALLY far from the bed, to reach it and turn it off.

Of course, it's starting to look like none of our potential options for this baby were very user-friendly! :)

absolutelytrue said...

I have to agree with the earlier conclusions that it's an anti-theft device for a television remote... since you know, there's such a demand for stolen motel tv remotes on the black market.

Jenn Thorson said...

AbsolutelyTrue- It's a little discussed social issue.

The theft of remote control devices for televisions. Did you know that one out of ever five cases of theft from elders by their children and grandchildren involves stealing cash, jewelry, and the television remote to exchange for drugs?

Yes, it's a very important problem affecting us today. Thank you, for being the first person to step up and bring it to our attention!!

Da Old Man said...

Jenn, WD-40 is a clear solvent, so it could be WD-39, which worked almost as well and was tested in hotels nationwide.
I'm reasonably sure that piece of low technolgy is a zombie docking apparatus. Zombies are not particularly clever, so just slip them into a pair of Chinese finger cuffs, and hook them up until help arrives.
Anti Zombie technology was not that sophisticated in the 1970's.

Jenn Thorson said...

Da Old Man- AH! I see. And that explains why it needs to be kept so far away from the bed. It's a primitive form of anti-zombie security system.

Now see, I would have known that if it had fallen into the realm of cliche. But heck if it isn't so gosh-darned original and unique!

ReformingGeek said...

My first thought was the coin slot for the vibrating bed but what coins? Dimes? Or maybe it took a key?

I like the idea of the bolted remote. Maybe it was a different TV?

Or maybe something else was bolted there at some point? An older telephone? The Gideon Bible? ;-)

Fun post and great comments!

Jenn Thorson said...

Reforming Geek- Heh, now that would be a new low, bolting the hotel Bible down. Those shameless hotel Bible collectors! Don't they know "thou shalt not reappropriate religious texts and hotel towels"?

chyna said...

I vote for a lock down for the remote control. Seen them before myself.

As for stealing the remote, I've watched "To Catch a Thief" on HGTV or whatever channel it is on and the reason a thief would take the remote control is to just make you mad. Kind of like rubbing salt in a wound. They may not take the TV or other electronics but they are going to make your life difficult by taking the remote with them. My house we'd never notice someone stole it since we lose it so often. LOL

Jenn Thorson said...

Chyna- See, my brain just doesn't work like that. I'd be hopeless as a petty criminal! I have NO vision.

Kirsten said...

I think it's a fanciful sculpture of some sort! 70's style motels don't have a huge art budget!

Jenn Thorson said...

Kirsten- Hmmm.... verrrry possible. The statement being about the random restraints man puts on himself in society?

Or perhaps of how goo can accumulate in tiny crevices. :)

unfinishedrambling said...

Practically speaking, though, wouldn't you want the alarm clock away from the bed, so you had to get up to turn it off? I think that would make sense myself, but then I think a lot of things make sense -- like programming stations on your car radio in numerical order. So what do I know? ;)

Jenn Thorson said...

Unfinished- Hey, now- no bringing over your domestic quirk discussions with Shieldmaiden over here to Cabbages. :) If you can't sort them out over there in the Boondocks, I can't help you.

And no, I like to actually be able to reach my alarm. I can't be stumbling half-away across the room to find what that horrible noise is to make it stop. I save that for me trying to figure out how to pour coffee. :)

unfinishedrambling said...

Jenn -- sorry about bringing my quirks over to your blog. Another one of my quirks. Stream-of-consciousness.

Jenn Thorson said...

Unfinished- I was just all happy I actually knew the context of the radio station programming debacle. :)

Shieldmaiden96 said...

And we HAVE sorted that out; since the car has FM1 and FM2, so I can have my nice organic layout and he can have whavever OCD Jack Nicholson in 'As Good As It Gets' plastic flatware handwashing nonsense he needs to get through the day.

I am pretty sure the remote would have had some metal doodad attached to it that fit into that lock hole and then snapped into place; not so much so you wouldn't steal it, but so you'd know where it was and it wouldn't get wound up in the bedclothes during whatever you happened to be doing in a Philadelphia hotel in need of renovation.

Jenn Thorson said...

Shieldmaiden- Ah yes. The "organic" layout. Well, I'm glad compromise was had, anyway.

You know, I never imagined one photo of a mingy whatchamacallit would inspire such enthusiasm and creativity from everyone.

I'm terribly impressed. You folks have all made a rather stressful workday more fun.

Dougist said...

Comon now, fess up... Did you put a quarter in? You did, didn't you... Just to see, right?

confused said...

looks like a remote holder to me..but I could go with the hardware from a vibrating bed system though..:)))

Jenn Thorson said...

Doug- Heh, no-- but I DID check it out to see if it was some bizarre here-to-fore unseen Internet connection-- as there was absolutely NO information in the room on what the supposed online access we had is. Yes, I was THAT desperate that this bizarre lock thing looked like a viable option.

Confused- I just would rather think it was a remote holder. Really I would.

Drowsey Monkey said...

Hmmm...

Was there someone to insert coins to make the bed vibrate? What kind of business trip was this?

Jenn Thorson said...

Drowsey- No, there wasn't anything there anymore that attached to that lock-thingy. It was all by its lonesome.

And actually, this was the trip when I went to visit Claire and JD!