Last week, Of Cabbages and Kings had its second not-necessarily-annual-yet-really-spiffy giveaway contest, where participants had to predict which tribulations and turns my Thanksgiving travel plans would take. The one who got closest to what really happened would get a piece of Florida souvenir tackiness hand-picked by me!I can't understand why we didn't have more participants. :)
Today, however, we find out the answers and reveal the winner. Let's get cracking!
1.) How many times will I get reprimanded by airport security in total?
The answer is...b.) Once. While it wasn't shoe removal, or my being too polite to fellow passengers that was my downfall, my bag had to be searched because of... wait for it...
Rogue antiques.
That's the way I roll.
Apparently on X-ray, some unique pens made from Victorian silverware I'd picked up looked like deadly weapons.
Yes, friends, many a person has died a long painful death... many a plane has been hijacked... due to floral-embossed flatware. So let's give a round of applause for our good men and women of airport security; they're just doing their jobs and not taking any chances. Sure, it was innocuous this time, but next time those pens could be a chafing dish.
Moving on to...
2.) At least one person sitting next to me on the plane will do which of the following?
And I'd listed a number of things strangers do to other strangers in when sitting next to them in a metal cylinder at over 10,000 feet (No, that doesn't involve the Mile High Club-- get your minds out of the gutter, people!).
Now, for this trip, everyone directly next to me was actually very well-behaved, which I appreciate. I will, however, have to choose D for the correct answer-- "Have some sort of bladder control problem that requires getting up multiple times"-- because someone behind me had this issue and apparently lacked the thigh-power to stand up unassisted to flee for the restroom without using my chair back as a makeshift winch.
3.) How long will it take me to physically leave the rental car property once receiving my rental car keys?
The answer here, believe it or not, was "A-- under 15 minutes."
This is in complete contrast to the Chevy HHR I had one year which-- in its quest to streamline the number of buttons-- decided that getting into the trunk through the dash, a floor lever, a keyhole, or a keyless remote button was entirely excessive.
That year, it took me 45 minutes to figure out that you could open the trunk by hand but only if all of the car doors were also open. Yes, that's intuitive.
As for number 4.)-- Will I get lost in Miami?
I'm proud to say, I managed to do so not once, but twice! Thus, setting an all-new personal record. The first time, I did indeed get lost in places I'd gotten lost before. It's part of a fine annual tradition. So C. ("Yes, but you will recall being lost there three times before and not lose much time.") is a correct answer.
But for the return trip, B-- ("Yes, but only for the amount of time it takes you to stop crying on the steering wheel")-- also is correct. My Rand McNally directions back to the rental car return were, in fact, totally wrong, sending me away from the airport and across a series of roads that looked like a plate of linguine with clam sauce.
(The abandoned motels and used car lots I passed by before the weeping began are the clams in this analogy.)
And last...
5. How many free-roaming iguanas will I see in my dad's backyard?
The answer is A.) None. The iguanas have all gone to Pittsburgh for the Thanksgiving weekend.
I haven't gotten a chance to check the local papers to see how folks here in the 'Burgh handled the mass iguana tourism, but I'm sure it'll still be lead story on the news tonight.
And now, the moment we've all been waiting for! Because, when doing my careful mathematical calculations of who got the most correct answers right, it appears you all decided to embrace the Law of Averages and each got 2/5 correct-- I put all of your names on slips of paper in a bag and just drew a name.
So the winner of the souvenir giveaway is...
Jessie! Jessie, if you would email me your address and full name at thriftshopromantic @ mac.com (no spaces, though), I will get your goodies out to you this week.
And the prize is...
An exciting 3-D animated flamingo bookmark and an Official "Miami" fridge magnet with sparkly crap and dolphins inside! Woo-hoo!
Actually, the bookmark is kind of mesmerizingly cool. May you have many hours of fun watching the flamingos flap.Okay, that's it for today, folks! Wednesday Cabbages will be back with its normal, non-travel-themed tales and oddities.
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15 comments:
Did the winching pee-er also rip out any of your hair as they stood up? I've had that 'two strands caught in the cocktail rings' thing happen to me on planes.
Does that comment make sense? I hope so.
Shieldmaiden- Yes, it did make sense, and no, the hair remained intact...
Though the initial winch movement was akin to slamming on the brakes short in rush hour traffic...
I half-expected an airbag to deploy out of my upright tray table.
Wow! You made it out alive, Jenn! That's impressive!
CatLady- I'm feeling good about it myself! Thanks for sharing my joy of non-deadness! :)
You are so stinkin' funny....and weird. But more funny....or weird.
Wait. Are those compliments? Oh, they were supposed to be. On to read more posts and catch up a bit. I think I'm almost caught up already, but I must be sure. I must! (No, I don't know why I've gone all dramatic here. . .)
Lisa- Well, you've had the flu for about a bazillion weeks now, so any drama is forgiven.
And hey, funny and/or weird, I'll take it. :)
Congratulations, Jessie!
Dang, that bookmark DOES look mesmerizingly cool.
I guess I'll have to go to Florida myself.
JD- Heh, "You go to Florida so we don't have to?" :) Well, fair enough. I'll let my dad know you'll be standing in for me at Thanksgiving next year. :)
I'm sorry I used your seat as a winch. After I sit for awhile, my brain disconnects from my legs so when I can't use the armrests or Hubby, I have to resort to whatever I can find. I love caffeine so numerous trips to pee are in order which explains why I prefer the aisle seat!
Oops.
ReformingGeek- Confessions of a caffeinated chair wincher, eh? :) Well, I have to say, I am softening toward your circumstances-- especially since you took the time to explain the pain and desperation.
Glad to hear you survived. :)
Yes Yes, this is why my family torture method of choice is the 12 hour car trip.
...And Another Thing!!!
Melanie- Thanks :)
Michael- I actually prefer driving, though driving to Florida isn't exactly convenient. :)
Hey! This was fun and I didn't even play! Why didn't I play, I don't know.
You're aware of my fear of traveling alone. Despite getting over that fear this summer, I'm now petrified to need a rental car. I think I'll skip that and get a bike instead. How hard can it be for me to operate a bike? Don't answer that.
Fun post! Wish I'd played. Can you go to Florida again just for me?
Kathy- I absolutely thought of you during my getting lost. I kept thinking, "Oh, at least this isn't happening to poor Kathy." I've gotten lost enough times I feel I can usually find my way out of it. But I know what a job it would have done on your nerves and confidence. It really can be scary.
Most of the time the rental cars are easy enough to get used to. But that HHR had thrown me for a loop. NO trunk button or lock ANYWHERE? I mean... REALLY, what the hell?!
I may do this again next year, so you can join in then.
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