Who can you depend on, to stand strong in the fight against injustice, untruthiness and pricey shoe rentals?...The Injustice League, that's who! Pre-approved and properly-insured A-list superheroes (and amateur bowling league) for the city of BurghTown! The Injustice League are...
Lady Liberty!...
SwellGuy!...
Captain Coolness!...
WombatMan!....
And his sidekick, the BoySparrow!...
Hearing about the Humorbloggers Unite Against Anti-Injustice campaign, the Injustice League rushed to support this Highly-Important Yet Somewhat Vague cause....And, um, arrived fashionably late, largely because SwellGuy got wedged in the cab door.
But now they're here, and they're ready to right the wrongs!...
Fight the good fight!...
Clean up the dirt!...
Take out the trash!...
Er, wash the windows!...
And um... Well, whatever else needs doing.
So, good people of BurghTown-- Do you see any injustice around here? An evil-doer mugging an old lady of her pension check and hairnets, perhaps?
A fiend thieving sweets from a baby, maybe?
Illegal dog fights?... Littering?... Someone wearing fur and flaunting it?... Overpriced coffee beverages?!
Come on, people!... Anything!!
Ah-- phew! -- what's this?...
Sensing injustice in action through his SwellSonar Hearing, SwellGuy tracks down the black-hearted evildoer-- 10-year-old Mikey Posternicki of Apartment 10B across the street-- and removes the empty milk carton from the fridge and throws it out!
"Mikey's Mom will not come home to an empty milk carton today, good citizens of BurghTown!" SwellGuy proclaims as he puts the door to 10B back on its hinges.
It was just as the Injustice League was slapping SwellGuy on the back for a job well done, when Lady Liberty gasped.
"What is it, ya big green shiela?" asked WombatMan curiously.
Using her x-ray American EagleEye power-- fully supported by the Patriot Act-- the Matron of Might was privately privy to potential peril in the public works!
Yes, it was a serious breach of TP protocol in that BurghTown bathroom!.. The paper was coming from the bottom instead of the top of the roll!It was time to take some liberties with that loo! Go, Lady Liberty, go!
"But hold on there a minute, baby!" said Captain Coolness casually, freezing her in her tracks. "You can't just walk in there, babes. Every bum and frat boy worth his weight in Wild Turkey has turned himself inside out in that thing. The air is totally toxic."
Lady Liberty gave a sharp, efficient nod. Slipping on her government-issued gasmask, she said, "Muyy mgo-ngg guinn."
"What?"
She lifted the gasmask. "I said, I'm going in."
"Oh."
Returning, from a successful yet nearly fatal mission, Lady Liberty said:"In life as in bathroom tissue installation, it is important to always remember to take the high road. Now no citizen of BurghTown, fumbling drunkenly for the toilet paper at 2am, will find himself lost, unable to locate the beginning of the squares he so vitally needs."And thus, injustice (and bad manners) was defeated once again thanks to...
The Injustice League!
-----------------------------Humorbloggers
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21 comments:
I heart Wombat Man. Let me know when the line of plush action figures comes out. I shall cuddle him and stash my Chapstick in the Pouch of Power.
(That sounds nastier than I meant it....)
Hee, hee! That was clever (as always). Much needed at the end of a long day.
Reminds me of a post I did on the 'Power of O'. Check it out if you have a moment:
http://www.madtexter.com/2009/04/power-of-o.html
Chat soon!
Another Cabbages Classic, Jenn. Love the Swell Guy shopping at GNC and the Plume of Persuasion! Only you could come up with those! :)
Shieldmaiden- Wombats ARE just the cutest little buggers! The photos online were so cute my IQ dropped just looking at them.
Now you mention it, I too, would like a plushy WombatMan. I don't know about that Chapstick plan of yours, though... :)
MadTexter-- I haven't popped over there yet, but somehow I suspect I will never see Overstock the same. :)
Mike- YAY! I had entirely too much fun doing this. I never quite know how folks feel about it when I do the comic strip posts, so it's nice to hear it worked.
That was cool and you should start writing a comic book. We are comic guys over our site for the most part. THanks for the humorblogger reminded - i best head over!
JAJAJAJAJAJAAJAJAJAJAJAJA I need Lady Liberty to teach my mom TP protocol!
I don't know why but I was kind of thinking of the members of the injustice league as BC members, jajajaja.
Hahahahaha how cool!! I love the whole gang!
*looks serious and adjust her glasses*have to say, the most serious crimes are hidden in the most normal looking things. Never ever put an empty carton back in the fridge, you never know how big the anger is that will be unleashed by the one finding it. It's all about preventing the bigger danger! GO Injustice Gang!!
Oops sorry, got a bit carried away here...
But! I'm with Deray! You really can put BC members in your story!
Waltsense- Oh, I just enjoy doing this kind of stuff now and then. As you can see, I'm not much of an artist-- I just know a few good cheats to make it work. :)
Deray- So your mom is a TP under-instead-of-over person? Heh, I wasn't thinking about BC members when I came up with them, but I can see where some of them might fit. :) I guess WombatMan would have to be AcousticGuitarist-- closest we can get to a red panda avatar!
TJ- Hm, perhaps YOU, my friend, might make a good superhero. I'll have to think about that. :)
Oh, this was fun! I smell an ongoing thing here. Maybe they could bring Sheariden in as the team manager (you know, PR bookings, tidying up the team clubhouse and such).
So, is this the definitive word on TP deployment?
Greg- This is a sequel, actually, to the adventures of my character "Back-up Girl," the second-fiddle superhero of BurghTown who gets called in to help when members of the Injustice League are off doing things they enjoy more.
I did a few Back-Up Girl posts in the past which were a lot of fun, so couldn't help myself extending it to this.
And yes, in terms of TP deployment, I think at least in the BurghTown TP manual, Over the Top is the official word.
Aaaah me? A superhero?! Now I'm curious! Your mind can work in mysterious and crafty ways :D!
Thumbs up to you, Lady! I like your characters, your story line, and your humor. A good twist on superheros. They are my kind of guys! The kind we need in our neighborhood. (uh...warning. If they get an alert to my residence, tell 'em not to be alarmed if the smoke detector is worn out. I am an avid smoker and the former white apartment walls have turned yellowish brown ... the smell of ol' tobacco smoke can overwhelm.
'ice to meet Ice Man. He's my kind of cool.
Ralph
Yes Jen, my mom is a TP under-instead-of-over person and it drives me nuts! She did that in my apartment when she was visiting. Needless to say I immediately turned it as soon as I saw it, jajajaja.
TJ- I worry about my mind too, sometimes. :)
Ralph Ivy- They would be useful in a neighborhood watch capacity, for sure. :) Captain Coolness appreciates your patronage.
Deray- Oh, wow, so she doesn't just put it under at her house, but yours too? That's such a mom thing, isn't it? My mom used to take my small appliances and say, while moving them, "Don't you think this would look better over here?" "Erm, no. If I did, I would have put them there." :)
Yea! Injustice-fighting superheroes!
People at the gym leave the lockers open when they are finished using them. Maybe SwellGuy could help.
Reforming Geek- That sounds like a job for SwellGuy, all right! :) Someone could injustly injure themselves on one of those carelessly open doors!
Now that's my kind of super-hero club. Well versed in TP etiquette. How can I join? Well done, Jenn.
Ok, first, as a die hard Superman fan, gotta tell you, I loved SwellGuy and the whole GNC line. How DOES a man with super strength get muscle tone like that? Creatine, of course, it's all so obvious now.
Second, much like the work space/single space after a period debate, there is no correct way to put the toilet paper on the rack. Your assertions to the contrary are mean and wrong and blah.
Third, I think it's highly irresponsible for Wombat man to have a teen sidekick. Maybe its child abuse, I don't know, but I will be contacting the appropriate Australian authorities.
Great post :D
I'm going to drain a milk carton and leave it in the fridge now.
Yes indeed! I say, do keep your mind working in a mysterious and crafty way ^_^!
Oh no!! An empty card of milk!! We need Swell Guy!
Dufus- Oh, I'm sure they'd be glad to have you on the team. It looks like WombatMan and BoySparrow are thinking of going solo soon anyway. There'll be a few openings for new talent.
FoxHatingPotentate- You and your milk carton. You're just trying to lure SwellGuy to your place for an autograph session, admit it. He gets this all the time. Fanboys these days... (shakes head) :)
TJ- I think I can hear the door being pulled off its hinges now!
Woohoo! He saves the day ^_^.
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