Turkey of a Travel Day Answers and Giveaway Winner

Last week, Of Cabbages and Kings had its second not-necessarily-annual-yet-really-spiffy giveaway contest, where participants had to predict which tribulations and turns my Thanksgiving travel plans would take. The one who got closest to what really happened would get a piece of Florida souvenir tackiness hand-picked by me!

I can't understand why we didn't have more participants. :)

Today, however, we find out the answers and reveal the winner. Let's get cracking!


1.) How many times will I get reprimanded by airport security in total?
The answer is...b.) Once. While it wasn't shoe removal, or my being too polite to fellow passengers that was my downfall, my bag had to be searched because of... wait for it...

Rogue antiques.

That's the way I roll.

Apparently on X-ray, some unique pens made from Victorian silverware I'd picked up looked like deadly weapons.

Yes, friends, many a person has died a long painful death... many a plane has been hijacked... due to floral-embossed flatware. So let's give a round of applause for our good men and women of airport security; they're just doing their jobs and not taking any chances. Sure, it was innocuous this time, but next time those pens could be a chafing dish.

Moving on to...

2.) At least one person sitting next to me on the plane will do which of the following?
And I'd listed a number of things strangers do to other strangers in when sitting next to them in a metal cylinder at over 10,000 feet (No, that doesn't involve the Mile High Club-- get your minds out of the gutter, people!).

Now, for this trip, everyone directly next to me was actually very well-behaved, which I appreciate. I will, however, have to choose D for the correct answer-- "Have some sort of bladder control problem that requires getting up multiple times"-- because someone behind me had this issue and apparently lacked the thigh-power to stand up unassisted to flee for the restroom without using my chair back as a makeshift winch.


3.) How long will it take me to physically leave the rental car property once receiving my rental car keys?
The answer here, believe it or not, was "A-- under 15 minutes."

This is in complete contrast to the Chevy HHR I had one year which-- in its quest to streamline the number of buttons-- decided that getting into the trunk through the dash, a floor lever, a keyhole, or a keyless remote button was entirely excessive.

That year, it took me 45 minutes to figure out that you could open the trunk by hand but only if all of the car doors were also open. Yes, that's intuitive.


As for number 4.)-- Will I get lost in Miami?
I'm proud to say, I managed to do so not once, but twice! Thus, setting an all-new personal record. The first time, I did indeed get lost in places I'd gotten lost before. It's part of a fine annual tradition. So C. ("Yes, but you will recall being lost there three times before and not lose much time.") is a correct answer.

But for the return trip, B-- ("Yes, but only for the amount of time it takes you to stop crying on the steering wheel")-- also is correct. My Rand McNally directions back to the rental car return were, in fact, totally wrong, sending me away from the airport and across a series of roads that looked like a plate of linguine with clam sauce.

(The abandoned motels and used car lots I passed by before the weeping began are the clams in this analogy.)

And last...


5. How many free-roaming iguanas will I see in my dad's backyard?
The answer is A.) None. The iguanas have all gone to Pittsburgh for the Thanksgiving weekend.

I haven't gotten a chance to check the local papers to see how folks here in the 'Burgh handled the mass iguana tourism, but I'm sure it'll still be lead story on the news tonight.


And now, the moment we've all been waiting for! Because, when doing my careful mathematical calculations of who got the most correct answers right, it appears you all decided to embrace the Law of Averages and each got 2/5 correct-- I put all of your names on slips of paper in a bag and just drew a name.

So the winner of the souvenir giveaway is...

Jessie! Jessie, if you would email me your address and full name at thriftshopromantic @ mac.com (no spaces, though), I will get your goodies out to you this week.

And the prize is...

An exciting 3-D animated flamingo bookmark and an Official "Miami" fridge magnet with sparkly crap and dolphins inside! Woo-hoo!

Actually, the bookmark is kind of mesmerizingly cool. May you have many hours of fun watching the flamingos flap.

Okay, that's it for today, folks! Wednesday Cabbages will be back with its normal, non-travel-themed tales and oddities.

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Cabbages' Turkey of a Travel Day Giveaway Contest

So, for some pre-Thanksgiving fun, I thought we here at Of Cabbages and Kings would play a giveaway game.

Right now, Yours Truly is flying off for Turkey Day festivities to the Sunshine State. And because this involves the Wacky Wonders of Air Travel--

--Where one errant metal hair barrette could cause 10 large airport security officers all named Stan to strip search me (let's hope they're gentle)--

--I will award an extremely tacky Florida souvenir of my choice to the person who comments and guesses the most answers correctly based on the outcome of my round-trip adventures.

I won't know all the answers to these myself until next Sunday. So early next week, I'll award the great and exciting prize of Genuine Florida Souvenir Slob Art to the lucky individual with the most answers that are closest to what actually happened.

Ready? Here we go!

1.) How many times will I get reprimanded by airport security in total?
a.) None, it will be smooth sailing as you are queen of the three ounce travel size toiletries!
b.) Once. Shoe removal or not running over an old lady in the security line will be your downfall.
c.) Two or three times. A nervous tic or your naturally-shifty looks will cause security to suspect you as a person of interest.
d.) Lots. You are now being grilled by Jack Bauer in some concrete underground interrogation unit. It was nice knowing you.


2.) At least one person sitting next to me on the plane will do which of the following?
a.) Fall asleep and snore, possibly drooling on your shoulder
b.) Take his or her shoes off, stench optional
c.) Try to engage you in lengthy small talk against your will
d.) Have some sort of bladder control problem that requires getting up multiple times


3.) How long will it take me to physically leave the rental car property once receiving my rental car keys? (This includes figuring out how the car actually works in the parking lot.)
a.) Under 15 minutes
b.) Fifteen to 30 minutes
c.) Thirty to 45 minutes
d.) You are still there trying to figure out how to work the rental's windshield wipers.


4. Will I get lost in Miami, on my way to my dad's?
a.) Yes, and you will have your rental car graffitied by gangs of angry rogue flamingos, too.
b.) Yes, but only for the amount of time it takes you to stop crying on the steering wheel.
c.) Yes, but you will recall being lost there three times before and not lose much time.
d.) No, it's smooth sailing! Cue the Miami Vice theme song!


5. How many free-roaming iguanas will I see in my dad's backyard?
a.) None. The iguanas have all gone to Pittsburgh for the Thanksgiving weekend.
b.) One. Most of them were eaten by the fabled Skunk Ape of the Everglades. Mmm, tastes like chicken!
c.) Two. Not enough for a sci-fi film but too many to please the territorial dachshund next door.
d.) Many! It'll be like Godzilla Versus Megalon Versus Mothra Versus Barney, baby! Run, Jenn, Run! (And don't forget to shout in Japanese as you flee.)


Okay, so those are the five questions. Leave a comment to share your predictions. And next week, we'll find out who is the lucky duck who wins real, Florida home-grown souvenir tat, personally chosen by me!

I'm so excited!
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