Cast YOUR Vote for Back-up Girl's Backup Sidekick!

The City of BurghTown...


When last we left our heroine Back-up Girl
, she'd been hit hard by the Godfather of Gross-- Influ Enzo and his mob family.

Right now they're pestilentially plotting to pack a punch to the personal pep of the poor paralyzed populace!...

But with all of BurghTown's pre-approved and properly-insured A-list superheroes currently busy with other more pressing obligations...

Who will save BurghTown from this disaster of dysentery waiting to be dispensed?

For the first time ever, Back-up Girl needs backup herself-- and fast!... And you, good Cabbages readers, can help her!

Yes--- between his 2 o'clock nap and his 3pm cookie-and-Yoo-Hoo break, Mayor Skippy will be sending the Deputy Mayor to the only remaining place in BurghTown where they might still be able to find a superhero to save them...

It's the last resort.
No, really.

Here at The Last Resort Karaoke Bar and Grill, B-, C- and D-list superheroes with extra time on their hands get together, pour out their sorrows, and commiserate on their careers.

And-- why, I believe we have one of them here now!

Is that...?! Yes-- it IS!..
It's Third Banana-- BurghTown's popular simian sidekick to other BurghTown sidekicks!

Over the years, Third Banana has worked alongside The Cloned Stranger's mono-syllabic Native American guide Pronto...

He's lent a hand to GuanoGuy's junior partner, Nuthatch, the Boy Stumbler...

And he's even traveled through time, as in-ship mechanic for Doctor Doe's robot cat, Mr. Rivets.

Third Banana's super-secret backup powers include his black belt in Chim Pan-Zee, super-psychedelic hypnotic eyes, and his deep understanding of quantum bananaramadynamics.

He also enjoys playing guitar and taking long walks on the beach.

Hurray!-- BurghTown is saved!

But wait! Third Banana isn't the only superhero here at The Last Resort. No!

Fresh from singing a well-meaning, yet painfully off-key karaoke version of "Wind Beneath My Wings," here we find...
... Miss Congeniality!

And what luck! This Gal of Goodness, this Champion of Cheer, this Diva of Diplomacy stands as a Beacon of Backup for everyone who ever followed their dreams to the very end-- and still got the shaft.

Her astounding talents include her tooth-enamel blind-beam, the whiplash sash, and a genuine BurghTown license as a certified mediator.

Well, this isn't going to be an easy choice, is it?!

But... look! Over there in the shadows of the karaoke stage...

Who's that in the neon green-and-black Tron tribute costume, knocking back a Jell-O shot?...

Why, the Deputy Mayor hasn't seen this hero in ages! It's Captain Cassette, the Totally High-Tech SuperGenius Circa 1984!...
Captain Cassette has been retired and freelancing for over a decade, having been replaced by the backup crime fighting duo, LANman and DigiDog, in the early 90s.

Ah, but Captain Cassette had known serious power. He could instantly recall and playback anything he ever heard-- though if you made him recount it more than a few times, his voice sounded a little warped and crackly for the retelling.

Combined with his super magnetic strength, Captain Cassette could tie up any villain in tape. Crime was going nowhere when he was on the job!

So here is where we need you all: who should be Back-up Girl's backup?

Should it be:

a.) Captain Cassette?
b.) Third Banana?
or
c.) Miss Congeniality?
Cast your vote in the comments section, and around Wednesday of next week, we'll reveal the rest of our exciting story.

BurghTown is counting on you, friends!

Have a super weekend!
-------------------------------------------------------
Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs

17 comments:

JD at I Do Things said...

I would never trust a monkey or a beauty queen to take on the responsibilities of saving Burgh Town. It's gotta be Captain Cassette! Never underestimate the powers of 1984!

TJ Lubrano said...

Hmm a monkey I don't know...he might betray you by searching the Perfect banana.

I would go for the reliable Captain Cassette or the cheery Ms. Congeniality! Just a flash of her bright smile and you'll be done in no time!

Lovely post ^_^!

Jenn Thorson said...

JD- Thank you for your vote!

TJ- I'm really enjoying seeing folks' thought processes on this. :) Thanks for chiming in!

ReformingGeek said...

Yeah, I don't trust anyone with teeth that white and monkeys steal things so it has to be the Cassette guy.

On the other hand, maybe Backup Girl will recover quickly and can resume her duties.

unfinishedrambler said...

Jenn, I'm sorry I have to disagree with your illustrious ?!?&@*? commenters thus far and go with Third Banana. I mean, martial arts and guitar!!! Reminds me of The Matrix, although he does seem a little Mojo Mojo-ish, but I'll forgive him for the martial arts and guitar!!!! Yes!!!! Go, Third Banana!

Jenn Thorson said...

Reforming Geek- Well, we can certainly hope! Thank you for your vote. :)

UnfinishedDude- All opinions count here- so let's make it one so far for our friend Third Banana. Thanks, Dude!

Drowsey Monkey said...

Obviously I have to vote for the monkey ;)

chyna said...

I vote for Cptn Cassette with Third banana as his sidekick. The two of them should be able to kick that Flu out the window. And we all know bananas are good for you so with a boost of potassium the city of Burghtown will be well in no time at all.

Jenn Thorson said...

Drowsey- I see monkey loyalty afoot. :) I'm sure Third Banana appreciates your vote.

Chyna- Wow, you've really worked it all out. :)

Tiggy said...

Monkeys can't be trusted. Or women with great figures.

Jenn Thorson said...

Tiggy- Am I sensing some deep-rooted sidekick prejudices here? :) Well, we'll give Captain Cassette your vote by process of elimination.

kathcom said...

I would totally vote for Third Banana but only if he's exactly as pictured, with no legs and uses his knuckles to roll himslef around on a skid cart.

That's my kind of sidekick: with all sides but no kick.

Melanie said...

I vote for Captain Cassette as well. Age before beauty! And he should be able to rock to anything, even the Flu.

renalfailure said...

You should have placed a call to my burgh where our resident superheroine with non-functioning legs Crimson Paraplegic flies around the city.

She puts her vote in for Captain Cassette, because Miss Congeniality perpetuates the notion that superhero women need to be hot chicks with big racks.

Jenn Thorson said...

Kath- Third Banana has legs, they're just under the t-shirt. It's a bit long. :)

Melanie- Thanks for the vote!

Renal- Ah, well, thank Crimson for voting and making her choice known! Perhaps if she's not doing anything this week, she could pop by and help BurghTown.

kathcom said...

Bummer about Third Banana having legs and all but I guess I'll vote for him anyway.

Jenn Thorson said...

Kath- I think if you get to check out this current post, you might get a chuckle over the legs.

He NEEDS them, what with the martial arts and all. :)