Groundhogs Protest Steelers' Superbowl Win


As the city of Pittsburgh sleeps-off both beer buzz and the joy of Superbowl stardom, the portly, furred figure of George Groundhog casts a lone shadow on the littered downtown streets, protest sign in hand.

"Yeah,
But Can the Steelers Defend
Against Six More Weeks
of Winter?"

...the sign reads.

In an Of Cabbages and Kings exclusive interview, George Groundhog explains: "This year, more than ever before, Groundhog Day has been pushed to the wayside simply because of a childish team sport. I'm here to remind the world that, Steelers' win or not, February 2 is coming and it decides just how many weeks you'll be slogging through the snowdrifts....

"Let's see whether your Terrible Towels will keep your windshields free of road salt. Or how well your Polamalu jerseys keep you warm in minus 10 degree temperatures. I suggest you give the holiday its due."

Harsh words from Pennsylvania's Third Most Famous Groundhog!

But our in-depth investigation shows George Groundhog has made a career of stirring up controversy. His landmark protest of the filming of Groundhog Day led to a now-legendary blow-up on the set with lead actor Bill Murray.

Complaints over the film's noticeable non-groundhog focus, and the use of Hollywood groundhog actors instead of local talent reportedly held up filming for weeks.

On the set, Murray was reported as saying, "George, that rat bastard! I haven't had a rodent steal my limelight like that since Caddyshack. I swear, I'm ready to prep the plastic explosives."


In 2007, George also made headlines by publicly chastising his own cousin, Gus, for "lowering the collective groundhog reputation" as the Pennsylvania Lottery's official spokesrodent.

"Do we want the groundhog to symbollize the flagrant waste of hard-earned money on pipe dreams? Or do we want the groundhog to truly mean something? Ask yourself."

Gus was not available for comment.


And while not everyone agrees that the Superbowl has taken the shine off Groundhog Day festivities, analysts are seeing some support for his sentiments in the Groundhog-American community.

In fact, as the dawn rises on Heinz Field, a small cluster of local groundhogs have gathered, with picket signs sharing their own concerns.

"In the Shadow of Superbowl Mania" reads one.

"Six Superbowl Rings or Six Weeks of Winter?" says another.

"Where Were You February 2?" expresses a third.

And "Forget Not The Hog," expresses a last message.


So far their organization has been non-violent, but pending citywide parades and Steelers celebration, time will tell how this epic battle of Man versus Marmot plays out.

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Are the groundhogs organizing in your area? Do you think George Groundhog has a paw to stand on with this? Of Cabbages and Kings would like to hear from you!

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22 comments:

Midwest Mom said...

I think I heard them talking about taking a nibble from all the Eat & Park cookies they could get their hands on, but I can't be sure.

I tried to bribe on with french fries, but had no luck.

Tricky groundhogs...

Jenn Thorson said...

Midwest Mom- Ah, so that's their nefarious plan! No, they can't be bribed with french fries-- not the minions of George Groundhog, anyway.

It might take whole Primantis sandwiches to even tempt some of these protesters.

Da Old Man said...

They appear to be pretty resolute in this protest.

Just out of curiosity, other than movie work and once a year weather predictions, what do they do?

Tiggy said...

To show our support for groundhogs, should we all go out on the streets and protest? Or stay inside for six weeks?

Jenn Thorson said...

Da Old Man- They have summer jobs trimming flowers and keeping garden crops from overproducing.

Tiggy- Hm. It's supposed to get kinda cold here later... So, um, stay inside for six weeks? Possibly with cocoa?

Da Old Man said...

BTW, if I see one more Food Network show highlighting Primanti's, I'm mapquesting directions, gassing up the Scion, and heading west.

freetheunicorns said...

I'm protesting groundhogs for six weeks. It's not like they do anything anyway. They're just in it for the fame.

Jenn Thorson said...

Da Old Man- I wish there were some way to send you guys Primantis... I had the same discussion with Shieldmaiden and Kathy of the Junkdrawer recently--- the potential for bacon and french fries in the very same sandwich... amazing.

FreeTheUnicorns- It's a pretty cushy gig Phil has going that he only needs to make an appearance once a year, and that pays for his room and board all year long.

I'd do it!

Anok said...

I will supply the Groundhog sized balaclavas for the fur-bloc direct action protests.

Gotta help a brother out, you know?

Jenn Thorson said...

Anok- Now that's quite the image- an organized group of groundhog ninjas...

I think that might just be worth seeing. I'll let George Groundhog know he can count on your support. :)

unfinishedrambler said...

I'm not with George if he doesn't like the movie about him and his kind. To me, that's one of the funniest movies ever, George. Sorry, you do not have my support.

Jaffer said...

Them groundhogs are creepier than Zombies when anthropomorphic.

Perhaps I should invite Ronald for dinner. Care to join ?
We'll have Groundhog Primantis and more fries and blood on the side.

;-)

Jenn Thorson said...

UnfinishedDude- I agree, it's a great movie. Still, I have to respect him for his passion.

Jaffer- Oh, no! Gus, the Lottery groundhog is adorable! He has wonderful little adventures and has a charming personality. We must not eat anthropomorphic groundhogs!

You tell your zombie friends to back off. :)

Melanie said...

Those groundhogs seem like they're getting a pretty overinflated ego these days.

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Marvel Goose said...

here in Valdosta, where it was a chilly 65 degrees today, we suspect that the Azeleas, Dogwoods, and Easter Lilys will be in bloom within 30 days -- groundhog or no!

Jenn Thorson said...

Melanie- I think it might have been the unionizing that gave them an exaggerated view of their importance.

Marvel- Ah, to a gal who's just heard on the news that we're getting more snow and 20 degree temps today, your description sounds WONDERFUL. I will try to picture your dogwoods and Easter lilies as I slog through it all!

dani c said...

I'm protesting these groundhogs. They do one hell of a job destroying my yard everywhere. Matter of fact, I'm willing to catch and sell them to anyone that's interested ?

Unemployed Asshole said...

It's true... Nobody in the Burgh gave a crap about Groundhog day. Haha.

Jenn Thorson said...

Dani- Why am I getting these images of you out there, crazed, trying to get the best of these marmots? :)

Unemployed- Not one whit, no. And on Tuesday I have NO idea how anyone who needed to do business things downtown ever made it in. It had to be mayhem.

Unemployed Asshole said...

I don't know. I was still hungover on Tuesday.

Sujatha said...

Jalapeno Joe would like to join the anti-Steeler contingent.