At the U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America

At the U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America, we bring to you only the most well-made products of quality. Like our pictured "Cat Toy for Cats" shown here. This popular seller is very big with customers.

Why? Because of our years of lengthy product testing, which is extensive!

You see, originally, we developed the "Cat Toy for Dogs," which was our first product and our premier item in pet toy manufacturing. Did you know that "Cat Toy for Dogs" was unpopular, and consequentially, both dogs and consumers were disinterested in it? This meant fewer sales!

So we redesigned. And with our ambitious "Cat Toy for Horses" line, we thought we might really have something. But user testing, analysis and examination showed that horses play very little ball, so the balls were not played with as much as preliminary data anticipated and expected.

We once again realized the product must be reimagined. So we took a fresh look and approached it from a different angle.

Because of this, "Cat Toy for Capybaras" was born.

In the remote jungles of the Amazon, capybaras, we discovered have very little contact with chain pet stores, because of the distance and also the desolation.

Capybaras, you may recall, are the world's largest rodents on the planet. And we discovered that even by bringing "Cat Toy for Capybaras" to the group in the wild, there was no market due to lack of interest. Additional research showed it might have been because there was no Capybara Nip available to fill the balls.

And that is when one of the fine minds at the U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America had a bright idea which was smart. Why not market "Cat Toy for Cats"?

Now, for the new millennium and well into the 2000s, we find ourselves poised on the cusp of the precipice of successful success. Here at the U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America, we now are devoted to the dedication of quality, well-made "Cat Toys for Cats".

Our successful success with "Cat Toys for Cats" now enables us to bring you a line of other product lines. Such as:
  • Dog Chews for Dogs
  • Reindeer Bells for Reindeer
  • Hamster Wheels for Hamsters
  • And
  • Business Suits for Geckos
With these innovated inventions for pets and the domesticated animals you keep in your home, the U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America is working hard and slaving away to offer you the products you can always depend upon, and rely on, too!

So we would like to take this moment, to thank you for choosing U.S. National Redundant Product Marketing Company Corporation of America for your choice for all your pet needs for pets!

8 comments:

madtexter (corey james) said...

Wow! They include catnip!? Now that IS new and improved. I'm shocked. I'm simply shocked.

Next thing you know they'll bring us...wait for it, wait for it...

litter boxes!

Those marketing folks are always thinkin', aren't they?

Jenn Thorson said...

Corey- It is astounding, isn't it, the advancements being made? "Litter Boxes for Litter" is a potential best seller, and may become very popular.

ReformingGeek said...

I hope they remembered the warning "may contain small parts that could break off and choke younger cats".

Sheesh.

Unfinished Rambler said...

Was this your marketing firm? Be honest. ;)

Jenn Thorson said...

Reforming Geek- I believe that was printed on the GIANT tag I had to cut off the teeny tiny "Cat Toy for Cats."

UnfinishedDude- No, I don't do product packaging. :)

Doug Stephens said...

The possibilities are endless! Baby Food for Babies. Book Marks for Books. Lots more, I'm sure, but I'm not smart enough to think of any.

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

Actually, wouldn't a "Cat Toy for Dogs" be an actual cat? But then it might be called a "Toy Cat for Dogs". Who knows? That's why I'm not in pet toy marketing.

Jenn Thorson said...

Doug- It does leave a really open market, doesn't it?

Chris- Given my own cat loves to beat the crap out of this stuffed beanie kitten, Cat Toy for Cats might actually apply there, too. :)