The Land of Lost Ideas


The idea was there, then gone. Somewhere between "Hey, that would make a good a blog post" and "Oooh, look! The coffee's done! Slurp!" the idea had just enough time to make a clean getaway.

Which got me wondering, exactly where do these ideas go when they vanish like that?

Well, extensive in-depth research— okay, maybe five seconds on Google, though with some really canny search-term jockeying— revealed the truth, which I will share with you today.

Forgotten ideas go to Evernon.

Evernon, for those who don't have a map handy, is not in any specific spot, really, but it's located just a little to the left of everywhere. You can get there by grabbing a piece of paper and a pencil and then drawing a blank. But that's actually a lot harder than it looks.

You can also get there via a few known portals.

A popular portal to Evernon is located along the Washington DC. beltway. Who doesn't know someone who's gotten lost there at one point or another-- only to find themselves suddenly, mysteriously, intersecting the turn-off they need with no real idea of where they went wrong, or how they got back on track?

Another path to Evernon lies in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, connected to Old Babcock Road, New Babcock Road, North Babcock Boulevard, Babcock the Middle, and Formerly Known as a Babcock but Now Call Me "Jeff" Lane.

If you have an area in your hometown where you inevitably get turned around, disoriented and lost, that is very likely an on-ramp to Evernon.

Now you know.

Evernon contains a number of different towns and it is the place where all missing things go.

In these rolling hills, dales, valleys and laundromats, you will find all of those AWOL socks from your laundry basket.

You might discover that pen you were sure you had in your pocket but which seemed to have vanished into thin air.

You'll find all the calories manufacturers remove from foodstuffs in order to make them "Light," "Fit," or "Fat-Free."

You'll find sections containing those hours you lost during that particularly good party...

The hair you recall having but which seems to have vacated for more fertile pastures...

And the weight you worked off with that special all-pimiento diet last year.

As evidenced by that last point-- and your regained 10 pounds-- the portal to the areas around Evernon is, in-fact, two-way.

So, I still have hope that my lost idea may come back to me someday. In the meantime, I seem to have misplaced my post ending, but I did find a lost sock.

Ah, well. It doesn't pay to get greedy.

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Humorbloggers
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17 comments:

Left Of SEan said...

So that's where my ideas went the other night!!

Hey, I took your advice and started thinking about something random and simple. It sparked a whole host of ideas. Actually, that's where the Remote Control blog entry came from.

Thanks Jenn!! BTW, I blamed that entry on you!! LOL

Unfinished Rambler said...

That's where all those pens are? I was wondering, and I really miss them. :( Looks like it might be time for a trip to Evernon.

Lili said...

There must be an entry ramp for the worst of the ideas somewhere on the Washington Beltway, too -- that's the most rational explanation for the insane traffic in that area every day.

Unknown said...

Sean, Left of- Oh, I'm so glad! And your post didn't look like it was just drawn simply out of looking at the remote; you got a lot of material from it.

Unfinished Dude- Just make sure you use GPS there. Otherwise, we'll have to send out a search party for you AND the pens.

Lili- I think that has to be the case. Though some of those bad ideas may accidentally end up way off track-- in the House or Senate. :)

Deray said...

Keys and eye-glasses are particularly good at transporting themselves to Evernon and back, right?

Jaffer said...

Oh yeah ? I can make a map too ya know ! Because of all the hum-drum of Quebecers demanding their own independent country, I have taken liberty of doing it myself - http://is.gd/6GcqF

Ok so I sunk French Canada - only because they sunk England on a map in a certain restaurant in Quebec City.

You think they both ended up in Evernon ?

PS. I actually made this a couple of years ago.

Unknown said...

Deray- Yes, it's not on the map, but they go to the Keytopia and Specsville sections of the land, respectively.

Jaffer- Possibly so. They might be somewhat harder to retrieve than keys and socks-- issues of scale, donchaknow.

Leeuna said...

Hilarious! I loved the "get a paper and pencil and draw a blank," That one made me LOL. A good two-thirds of the things in Evernon probably belong to me. :)

ReformingGeek said...

I'm going to Evernon to pick up a few brain cells. I'll be taking the expressway.....if I can find the on-ramp.

I read all the Blog-Off entries and chose yours. Good Luck!

Unknown said...

Leenua- You and me both-- how many pens do you think we've sent there over the years? And I don't know about you, but I bet about six single gloves have headed there for an extended visit.

Reforming Geek- I think the brain cells are over by the lost hair. Just make a left. :) And thanks for choosing my post. I do appreciate the support.

Jay said...

Has Evernon got my missing metabolism? I suspect I might find my thyroid gland there, lurking in some dark corner, probably talking to some poor diabetic's pancreas.

Anonymous said...

Do car keys go there and then transport back to the same spot you looked for them 10 min earlier?

Jen said...

That must be where my sanity went along with all those socks.
Wish the weight I lost back in the 96 hadn't found me again but at least I understand it now. Thanks.

angelawd said...

That was an extremely helpful map. I have a few roads I can help you add to the overall country. If I can remember where they are.

Jenn Thorson said...

Jay- I hope they're in jars or something. Otherwise, Evernon is going to look like Jack the Ripper's rec room. :)

Sexnfries- You know it!

Jen- Happy to oblige. I know the feeling. :)

Angelawd- Let me know when they turn up again, likely next to Sexnfries' car keys. :)

Anonymous said...

Seven hundred years ago the poet Francois Villon asked "Where are the snows of yesteryear?" If only he'd been a blogger he would have found you (as I did) and found the answer! But I guess he and Shakespeare, slipped away from time and are both there now, along with most of my inspiration - no wonder I struggle and they write so well , it looks like my best ideas have teleported back there with them!

kathcom said...

So that's where all the calories went. I wish I could do a hostage negotiation between the calories and the ideas. (I'd keep the ideas, of course, just in case that isn't clear.)

And shouldn't we all know by now that when a package of "food" says "light" or "fit" that it represents neither? I need so more Evernon time to come up with a good comment, let alone a good post.