The Beauty of Boudreaux's Butt Paste

Boudreaux's Butt Paste... Just once in my life, I would like to work on marketing a product with a name like that.

Imagine going to a family reunion or visiting relatives at the holidays.

"So, Jenn, what clients are you writing for now?"

"Boudreaux's Butt Paste."

"No, really. What clients are you writing for now?"

"Boudreaux's butt paste," I'd insist.

"Well, if you didn't want to talk about work, why don't you just say so?"

My heart fills with joy at the very thought of it.

A couple of years ago, I'd had to write a tagline for a company that manufactured tubes. Oh, sorry-- matter conveyance technology.

Do you have any idea how challenging it is to write something short, catchy and yet serious about tu-- er, matter conveyance technology?

I spent two days staring at my computer screen with the most absurd slogans running through my head. Finally, I had to write them down to get them out of my system.

"Just Tube It."

"It's Tube-tastic!"

"When Only a Tube Will Do."


"When Conveying Matter Matters."

Eventually, they decided to go without a slogan. Funny. I wonder why?

But with Boudreaux's Butt Paste, I wouldn't have to hold back at all. I mean, when you have a brand name like that, you tend to expect a certain amount of creative freedom with your marketing.

Getting to the Bottom of Your Baby's Rash

Pasting Butts since 1978

When You Think Butts, Think Boudreaux's

Superior for the Posterior

Baby's Bums for Boudreaux's

It's a whole world of possibilities! So, Boudreaux's folks, I'm here for ya! Just give the word, and I'll be happy to develop a whole Butt Paste Promo Plan!

Bottoms all over the country are crying out for your product! Plus, I bet I can come up with some alternate uses. A facial moisturizer! A hand cream! A squeaky hinge lubricant! A—

Hm. Do you think I gave away too much up front?

Call me.



Skye said...

LOL this is too funny Jenn!

Boudreaux's, pasting baby butts since 1978!

I know I amended your line somewhat, but damn that is funny!

Jenn Thorson said...

Skye- See? There's just no end of possibilities! :)

Nickel Pickle said...

It really is the best for babies butts. We cant do without our buttpaste! LMAO!

CatLadyLarew said...

Will it keep my skin soft as a baby's bottom? Must get butt paste!

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

"Superior for the Posterior" Love it! You are in the right profession, that's all I can say. I would have stared for two weeks over the tube thing and still had nothing.

Marvel Goose said...

Face cream for assholes!

Jenn Thorson said...

Nickel Pickle- I do believe that sounds like a ringing endorsement! It's good to know it works as well as has a hysterical name.

CatLady- Heh, I bet you haven't said THAT phrase before. :)

Kathy- Oh, that tube project was my marketing downfall. I have never struggled with any project so much-- before or since then.

Marvel- Heh, somehow I think that might not have made it through Legal. :)

chyna said...

When I see/hear that butt paste thing all I can imagine is why would you glue your baby's butt cheeks together. LOL

Jenn Thorson said...

Chyna- Heh, well, perhaps if you were really tired of changing diapers! :) (kidding, folks, kidding...)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Butt Paste...that kinda conjures up some disturbing images for me...

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Can you eat butt paste, or is that a no-no like it is with regular paste?

I had no idea there was such a thing as butt paste until I read this. Now I have to get some, just so I can put it on my counter and get a laugh every time I look at it.

That tube project would've been a killer. Tubes: Just Trying Moving Matter Without Them. Or, Tubes: Moving Today's Matter Into Tomorrow. Or, Tubes: Where Would Matter Go Without Them?

Jenn Thorson said...

Olga- Heh, I know... It's so wrong. :)

Mike- I'd say probably a big "No" on the Butt Paste Consumption.

And your Tube slogan ideas are, amusingly, actually not far from the sorts of stuff I was desperately trying to work with! It was getting ugly by day two.

Ryan Garns said...

Butt Paste? I think I've found my new online handle.

Jenn Thorson said...

Ryan- Oh no... I have a hard enough time with Dufus, Hussy and Spaz-- now I have to call you ButtPaste? Can't I please stick with Garnzo? PLEEEEASE?!

Speedcat Hollydale said...


LUV this post ((smile))

MA Fat Woman said...

I wonder what the warning label says?

"Not to be used internally."

"Not to be used in your child's art project."

"Not for oral consumption."

Jenn Thorson said...

Speedy- Just spreading the good word about one of the more humorous product names I've seen. :)

MA Fat Woman- I would imagine those, yes. Also "May cause tuberculosis." Because for some reason so many medicines these days seem to cause TB or make your arm fall off or cause intermittent uncontrolled miming or something. :)

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Good Lord, I don't even know what butt paste is for! I mean, do kids in elementary school eat it? (sorry - i just went blue there)

Jason said...

Hey great site!

I was wondering if you wanted to exchange links with us. Let me know if this is possible.


ozma said...

You are obviously very good at your job! I LOVE 'When conveying matter *matters*'

That's brilliant.

Getting to the bottom of your baby's rash-also brilliant.

Jenn Thorson said...

Nanny- Well, possibly. But they also sniff household chemicals and send naked photos of each other in class. So they'll do anything.

Jason- I tend not to do link trades because Google frowns on it and will penalize you. Word to the wise-- be careful-- I don't want ya messing up your Google PR along the way.

Ozma- Gosh, I could have used your enthusiasm when we were pitching those tube slogans! :) Thanks.

itsmecissy said...

I have this stuff in my medicine cabinet!!! I bought it just for the label (paid extra too). I figured when guests sneak a look (we all do it), they'd get a chuckle.

I also have a tube of "Cat Butt" flavored toothpaste but have never tried it . . . for obvious reasons . . . bought it for the shock value - LOL!

Jenn Thorson said...

Cissy- "Cat Butt" toothpaste??! My gawd, I need to look that up and see why on earth they'd call it Cat Butt. I knew there was Monkey Butt powder but not Cat Butt Toothpaste. Yipes.