Wanted: Naked Man Answering to the Name of David


O, David, where art thou? Yes, this was a poster I passed by today in a local neighborhood. The statue of Michaelangelo's David has been a real fixture for a few years, nestled in the corner of someone's yard along with a Venus de Milo.

Now, David has hightailed it out of there, leaving Venus far behind. Without much of a wardrobe, packing was easy.

Below, you can see a closeup of the request from David's original family (the only editing done here is my removal of the address and telephone info)...


Exactly how far a three-foot-tall concrete David could get on his own over the course of a busy Fourth of July weekend, remains to be discovered.

Good luck, David. I hope you find what you're looking for.

At the very least, Pittsburgh has a pretty big Italian quarter. If he gets homesick, there are plenty of places for pasta.

Shirt and shoes, though, may be required.

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16 comments:

C.B. Jones said...

He probably ran away because the stares he got made3 him feel like a piece of meat....A piece of meat, , represented in the form of a three foot concrete sculpture.

Shawn said...

Now that you bring up the common "shirts and shoes" policy, it makes me wonder why so few establishments require pants. It would go a long way towards improving the local Wal-Mart.

Jenn Thorson said...

C.B.- Possibly so... The poor fellow. Hopefully, he's found some decent duds, and maybe a friend with a car to offer a new perspective on things. :)

I guess Venus might get the inkling next. Though she's a big gal and less, perhaps, migratory.

Jenn Thorson said...

Shawn- Yes, well, at Wal-Mart full-body armor would be a good idea.

David could really liven things up there. :)

ReformingGeek said...

David walks among us. He is an alien and was assigned to watch the humans from a distance. His job is now done and has been told to take his place in society.

Ha! Good Luck, David.

Jenn Thorson said...

ReformingGeek- Ah-- well, there ya go! I had no idea he was on an intergalactic mission among the hydrangeas... but of course, it's always the quiet types. :) I think you've hit upon the right theory!

The Mother said...

I think that if someone put the David out in their yards in Texas, the authorities would confiscate it for indecent exposure, probably arresting the homeowners in the process.

jay said...

Not exactly the naked man I'd be looking for. I'm thinking someone taller, and warmer, for a start.

Still, someone must have wanted him, which just goes to show there's someone for everyone.

Jenn Thorson said...

Mother- Hm... maybe they could dress him up in different little outfits like those plastic lawn geese that are so popular. :)

Jay- Yes, he is a bit of a stiff, isn't he? Well, hopefully he's gone where he's appreciated.

Melanie said...

Poor Dave probably went to find himself some sunscreen. You know pale folk tend to really burn this time of year.

Tony Single said...

Perhaps he went shopping for a fancier fig leaf with which to impress ol' Venus? That's what I'd do if I was a naked man.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Let's see, if he's 3-feet tall, then his pen....oh, never mind. Math's not my strong suit, and suits are his strong suit, either. Good luck to David. At least he was wise enough to leave in summer, when clothes are less of an issue.

Jenn Thorson said...

Tony- Thanks for the insight into the nude male psyche. :) I wonder where he could get that fig leaf? A local garden center? Figs R Us?

Mike- Um, yes, he was Mini-David. At three-foot-tall he was probably an easier victim than Venus, who's at least five-foot-tall and a big girl.

Claire said...

Remember what happened to his winkie in the goonies?

Jenn Thorson said...

Claire- Oddly, I don't-- but I only saw The Goonies once actually, a long time ago. Mostly I remember a lot of falling down holes and screaming. :)

kathcom said...

I think I saw him on my neighbor's lawn, getting it on his bathtub Mary.