Paris... Gwyneth... J.Lo... Sarah Jessica... Every celeb worth her weight in Manolo shoes has her name emblazoned across a bottle of high-priced stinkum. So how come our best-selling novelists have been left behind in the world of fragrance immortality?
Well, no more! Now five popular penners have gone from author to odor. And once you smell the book, you might never take your nose out of it again!
- Stephen King's Misery. A backwoods blend of pork, painkillers, and mountain pines, this is the scent that knocks 'em off their feet and totally incapacitates them. Accept no oogy, caca-doody knockoffs! Also in the Stephen King line of fragrances is Desperation, a hot dry scent of desolate canyon roads, plague and gun oil. Haven't you always wanted to smell of Misery and Desperation? Now's your chance.
- Terry McMillan's Groove. This rich, heady fragrance combines musk with overtones of fruity tropical drinks, sea salt, and the pheromones of men half your age. Once you use your first bottle of Groove, you'll want to get your Groove back again and again. Stellar!
- Dan Brown's Conspiracy. This bewilderingly complex scent is designed to continually keep 'em guessing. A mixture of Renaissance turps, gold, frankincense, myrrh, incense and Holy Water, plus 30 other mystery aromas as a part of its secret formula, Conspiracy entrances, beguiles and is almost impossible to follow. Get caught up in it today!
- V.C. Andrews' Faded Flowers. This light scent evokes the feeling of decades-old pressed corsages and ancient shawls, musty attics and sweet, arsenic-filled donuts. Give it to your girlfriend. Or your sister. Or your sister-girlfriend, if you don't get out much in the world.
- Michael Crichton's Caught in Amber. Get lost in this fragrance, a seductive mixture of Jurassic jungle flowers, mosquito blood and the breath of giant scaly reptiles. The aroma transports, lingers, chases, and might just make the object of your desire scream. Comes in unique Raptor Egg packaging, too!
I'm sure as rabid readers, you all are just as excited about these new fragrances as I am!
And if you've heard of any additional perfumes based on our most beloved authors, I'd love to know about them. Me, I smell of Desperation already!