I was watching the movie Stand By Me the other night, where four kids in the 50s go in search of the missing body of a teen from their school.
And it took me back to being ten, and how my friend Susie and I used to find dead bodies all the time, and bring them back home and--
Oh, wait, no. Sorry. Wrong recording.
(Rewind. Press play.)
--How my friend Susie and I used to do all sorts of dangerous-fool things all the time, like play down by the railroad tracks where the crazy winos lurked...
Or drink canteens of polluted Jersey river water after a thirsty day of roaming through the woods alone with no way to call our moms...
Or get nose bleeds and mop up the blood with skunk cabbage leaves rather than go back home for tissues that actually didn't reek like Satan's undercarriage...
Stuff like that.
Yup, even in the 80s, we had a certain amount of freedom from the Parental Order of Juvenile Analysis and Nitpickery. Freedom to do stupid crap that would get us really injured or potentially kidnapped.
And we loved it.
It forms the basis for many a good tale.
So that got me thinking: what kind of stories will our most protected, connected generation to date-- Gen Y-- tell by way of nostalgic adventure?
Maybe something like this...
It's 2025. In your handheld, you've accessed Entertainment Nanosecond, the hottest online film and television venue, detailing every moment of every half hour a celeb is actually popular.
And here's this half-hour's 2025 Top Adventure Films by Gen Y Filmmakers of All Time for the Next 30 Minutes Maybe:
- Inside the Inside of the Inner World of Azeroth. Alone, pursued by orcs, low on supplies, and potential carriers of plague, two heroes face incredible dangers in a mystical realm. Then Justin and Reed log off of World of Warcraft 3000.
- Goonies Revisited. In this exciting remake of a remake of the 1985 film, young Mike Walsh steals his dad's PDA only to find a previously-undiscovered Easter egg facility on it bearing a Spanish map and clues to pirate treasure. He and his friends discuss what they would do in search of this treasure, if they could actually get a lift in the mini-van from one of their moms, to investigate.
- That Ming is Mine. Five high-tech thieves plot to steal a priceless Asian vase, and win the grand prize associated with this catburglary-based reality show. But what happens when each burglar expects to have the starring role?
- As the Eagle Flies- Action star Will Smith, Jr. unknowingly takes on a corrupt government when he becomes witness to a U.S. authorized assassination. He must flee from dangerous federal agents-- and his patriotic mother-- both of whom have secretly implanted GPS tracking into him.
- New-New York Brown and the Lost City of Bowled. Fighting angry natives, diabolical enemies and public transit snags, urban archaeologist New-New York Brown goes in search of the fabled abandoned bowling alley of Brooklyn.
- Point Bruise. In this subtle adaptation of the original Point Break, extreme sports, surfing, and criminal investigation come together as FBI agent and adrenaline junkie Johnny Montana balances his life, his caseload, and 200 pounds of required safety gear.
So what do you folks think we might see in our swash-buckling futures?
(No, no, put a safety blade on that scimitar, please... also a warning label... someone could get hurt, you know.)