Today's Web is all about networking. And one way to get that attention you need from complete strangers is by writing reviews.
But-- oh-no!-- reviewing things the old-fashioned way means wasting valuable time actually watching the movie, reading the book or visiting the blog you want to talk about!
And that could get you all tangled up in new ideas... (Look out!)
Cut by sharp tongues...(Ouch! )
Or just plain slowed down from building your social empire. (Too slow!)
But now, you can change all that, the easy way! With WowSham's' New "Review-in-a-Can!"
With WowSham's "Review-in-a-Can" you won't lose critical time you otherwise need for espousing the wonders of click-fraud... scraping high-quality content... or sprinkling your site link like fertilizer on forums...
No! "Review-in-a-Can" uses patented Super-Saver Cliché technology to offer you the perfect generic review every time-- right out of the can. Choose from our wide selection of genres...
Like books...
"A classic for all time! Sure to be Oprah's next Book-of-the-Month!"
Movies...
"I laughed, I cried, I wet myself slightly..."
And even blogs...
"Nice blog! I will visit again and again. Would you consider exchanging links?"
All contained in our secret NASA-approved (this product not endorsed by NASA) packaging, so you know it'll always be safe-- and fresh!
And if you act now, and place your order within the next 3.5 seconds, you'll also receive our super-deluxe "Opinion-in-a-Can"!....
Don't want to take time to actually read and understand a forum discussion but still want to make a splash in the community? WowSham's "Opinion-in-a-Can" is the answer for you.
Like original Review-in-a-Can, Opinion-in-a-Can provides the perfect, instant, thought-free response, and comes in the popular communication styles forum-readers like most!
Choose from our all-purpose "Negative Reinforcement" six-pack, including:
- "This sucks!"
- "You suck!"
- "You all suck!"
- "Fail!"
- "Get a life!"
- "I have had enough of this forum. I am leaving. Don't try to get me to come back with a thread devoted specifically to me, begging, because I will probably only lurk in it for half a day to make sure it lingers. (Until I make my equally dramatic comeback.) See ya, suckas! "
Or get our "Friendly Friend" set of six, incuding:
- "I love this thread!"
- "I HEART u guyz"
- "Frend me, I frend u"
- "You make a good point"
- "ROTFL LOL!"
So don't wait! Order your Review-in-a-Can and get your Opinion-in-a-Can FREE. You just pay for shipping, handling, mandhandling, packaging, restocking, prestocking, poststocking, prenuptual and legal fees.
Order now! Customer service reps are waiting to take your money... er, call. Your call.
---------------------------------------
Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs
Bloggerella
36 comments:
Is there another product called "Spam in a Can" that contains such gems as:
Buy Viagra (or comments with 12,000 viagra links)
Thanks for //name of blog post//, it gives me an idea for an ebook!
SnackHound- There is, yes, but we at WowSham don't like to talk about it, because it's through a competing infomercial organization.
Thank you for your interest in //name of blog post//.
Can you imagine what this product would look like if it had a buffer overflow?
Nice blog! I will visit again and again, Fail! Get a life!
I wet myself, BECAUSE YOU ALL SUCK!;
A Blog for all times, I will probably only lurk in it for half a day.
I love this thread, See Ya Suckas!
Considering the quality control on most telemarketed products, this could actually happen!
Marvel- Yeah, I actually got a bit of a chill there for a moment as I realized how startlingly realistic this was... :)
"I laughed, I cried, I wet myself slightly..."
Where is the order form ? Do you accept Paypal ?
"ROTFL LOL!"
Prenuptual fees ?
"Get a life!"
Jaffer- You can order by calling the following number--
1-800-555-SHAM
Thank you for your patronage!
Will this product provide reviews of Zenni Optical? I need my Zenni review fix daily.
FeeFiFoto- You can generate generic reviews for virtually any product... Simply order the "Product Review" variety of WowSham's Review-in-a-Can.
Nice blog! I will visit again and again. Would you consider exchanging links?
AlphaWhale- I frend u, u frend me 2. :)
"These products are a real lifesaver! I'll never have to think again. Imagine all the time I'll save! Thanks WowSham!"
*testimonials were paid for by WowSham's sister company Shamalot.
I can't get through on the WowSham hotline! Line's engaged!! Must...get...Friendly Friend...before..too..late...
Oh noes! I can hear Billy Mayes shouting about SPAM-EZE... it's not available in shops! SPAM-EZE IS ONLY $12.99 WITH SHIPPING!
Please pick up the phone before it's too late, WowSham Hotline Headset Guy!
I want one.
Awesome post. Your blog never fails to provide me a hearty chuckle.
Chat Blanc- :) Thank you, random customer in no way related to this company, for sharing with the world how WowSham products have benefited you!
Tiggy- Now, I know you can't wait around on the line all day-- but let me just tell you, competing products, like SPAM-EZE aren't gonna give you what WowSham products can for the money...
Because if you wait on the line until our one service operator in Kuala Lumpur can speak with you, we'll double your order of Review-in-a-Can for FREE. (Just pay shipping and handling.)
FreeTheUnicorns- Well, there's one here with your name on it... but don't wait. Act TODAY! :)
Is Wowsham's product made in Germany? I know the Germans always make good stuff.
I prefer to buy with a 10 year guarantee after getting yelled at. Perhaps you could do a video presentation so I can get the full effect.
Da Old Man- Not exactly, it's made in Berlin, Pennsylvania-- is that close enough? They also make potato chips there, and you know potato chips are good, too.
And we'll not only give you a 10 year guarantee (that you won't remember you bought this product in ten years), we'll scold you, taunt you, and even make rude jokes about your momma and combat boots.
We aim to please!
To quote Will Smith from Independence Day...
Oh, I gotta get me one o' these!
Incidentally, I'll bet that's a stock phrase from WowSham. :)
Almost forgot, Stumbled too.
Hindleyite- It's an excellent slogan for WowSham, no doubt! I wonder if we can get Will Smith to say that for us while wearing a headset?
Thanks muchly for the Stumble. :)
What an exhilarating thrill ride!
Dear WowSham lady...
Is there a beginner's kit? What if I choose from the wrong package?
I tried to call your help line and Enid hung up on me.
If I call now will you double my order?
I HEART u guyz!!!
OMG! Lulz!
Earpoke- We aim to please at WowSham.
Vic- Enid would be glad to double your order for FREE... All you have to do is pay $3,6987.99 shipping and handling.
Unfortunate Names- I see you're already enjoying your Friendly Friend version of WowSham's fine products. :)
Hi, you have very interesting blogs.
WOW ROFLMAO LOL! I love this post! You make a great point
hhhheeeeeeeeeeeey I'm diggin this wowsam.
Seriously though. It was very funny
OMG I am so glad to have found your product, because I was told to
BEWARE OF IMITATORS
If I buy 1 can, will I get 6 for the price of one???? Because nothing says "great deal" like SIX of something I don't need....
DizzBlnd- Thank you for being one of our valued WowSham customers. :)
Maureen- Absolutely-- unlike our imitators, with WowSham products you get EVEN MORE things you also don't need absolutely FREE! But, don't wait-- because we can't do this all day...
Okay, actually, we can. In fact, we'll run this commercial again in about ten minutes. But still. A certain amount of hurry-up is good salesmanship.
Ooooh, I was all in until I heard "prenuptual and legal fees". I like most things that come from a can (except those snakes in a can, they freak me out)... ;)
It does get tedious sometimes to respond individually to people's posts as you and I know. Great idea. I think you should implement it as soon as possible. ;)
Sign me up for 10 or 20 of those. It'd be good to get my Christmas shopping done early this year... :p
I think, judging by comments I have received you have already sold many of these!
this was a canned post wasnt it?
my canned response: nice post!
now can it and get back to work...
"I laughed, I cried, I wet myself slightly..."
ROFL!! I loved that one! I might have to use it. :P
ROFL LOL!!!
Hey, wadayknow, it really works. Was worth every penny of that shipping charge.
RaBT- Did you know, Review-in-a-Can is 100% snake-free?
UnfinishedDude- Each of our comments here have been personally tailored to the individual for quality control satisfaction, and monitored by our umbrella company, ShamsMore Inc.
Tony- There's no better time than now to start planning ahead for the holidays! Your order is in the mail.
EttaRose- WowSham has many completely satisfied customers!
Nooter- We at WowSham put great effort into each of our posts. And if you act now within 1 and a half seconds, you can get a second post, completely free!
Jay- As a valued customer of "Comment-in-a-Can" you can certainly do so!
Melanie- Look, folks!- Another completely satisfied customer who has not been paid by WowSham for that glowing endorsement!
Post a Comment