The Which Type of Spammer Would You Be? Career Quiz

In these tough economic times, many people are making ends meet by taking multiple jobs or shifting careers.
  • But do you know the one innovative industry that is impervious to market ups and downs?
  • Have you investigated the one area which continues to thrive, offering a surprisingly wide array of exciting careers for the self-starting go-getter?
  • Have you looked into the only occupation where all you need is determination, an email account and a good old-fashioned lack of ethics and boundaries?
Yes, you can enjoy a lucrative and adventurous career in the Spam Industry!

But how do you know what type of Spamming would be right for you? Just take this quick and insightful quiz from the Clogg & Cheetham Institute for Artful Spamming Technology.

At Clogg & Cheetham, in just six weeks, you'll be trained in the Spamming area of your choice, by a Certified Spam Consultant. In no time, you'll be meeting new people by blocking up Inboxes, selling the goods you know people really want but are too afraid to ask for, and offering Network Administrators real job security by the constant influx of new mass-mailed messaging.

Don't wait! Find out what kind of Spamming is right for you, and soon you'll be on your way to a profitable new career-- without ever having to leave your home.

Start the quiz now!

1.) In social situations, like a party, you tend to:
a.) Find a topic you enjoy discussing and examine it from every angle for the duration of the party to anyone within earshot
b.) Use it as an opportunity to discuss the political challenges facing your beautiful yet hopelessly corrupt Nigerian nation
c.) Let loose with whatever stream of consciousness comes to mind.
d.) Change the topic to whatever you had planned, regardless of context

2.) In your spare time, you like to:
a.) Stalk celebrities, take photos of them in compromising positions and post them online
b.) Spend time visiting relatives, who have been wrongly imprisioned due to their noble political aspirations
c.) Read snippets of novels and news articles. While you get bored after a few paragraphs, you feel this keeps you up on the latest literature and current events.
d.) Sell, sell, sell. There is never spare time for you. Money does not grow on trees, you know.

3.) If you had a personal motto, it would be:
a.) I like Paris Hilton in the springtime. I like Paris Hilton in the Fall.
b.) For just the cost of a cup of coffee, you could help one imprisioned member of the Nigerian Royal Family buy his way to a brighter future
c.) It was the best of times, it was call me Ishmael.
d.) A sucker's born every minute.

Congratulations! You have completed the Clogg & Cheetham Institute for Artful Spamming Technology Career Quiz. Now let's learn what the right spamming career track would be for you!

If you chose mostly a.) then you won't want to miss our Celebrity Spam major. Whether it's Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian or any of our other beautiful and talented phenoms of the Hollywood and social scene, you will share the latest news, insights and birthday suit photos over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again in blog comments, on forums, and so, so much more.

If you chose mostly b.) then our Someday My Prince Will Come spam major is the metaphorical glass slipper for your career foot. This is your opportunity to help out the less fortunate royalty deposed and neglected in third-world nations-- and to meet great new people with big hearts and even bigger bank accounts!

If you chose mostly c.) then you might be the right fit for our Literary OCD/Stream of Consciousness spam track. It's the perfect opportunity to learn a little bit of everything, while never burdening your brain with too much information.

And if you chose mostly d.) you are the perfect candidate for our Soulless Sociopathic Special program. You'd take pennies from the sticky hands of daycare kids. You'd bleed your own grandmother dry and not even blink an eye. Yes, you have what it takes to sell products that don't exist to people who don't have the money to pay for them. You have a wide world of opportunity ahead of you! The sky's the limit!

So whether you're an A, a B, a C, or a D, you're all winners at Clogg & Cheatham. Find your new rewarding career with us--- Apply today!


Project Savior said...

With a title like that I just had to stop by and fill your inbox.

Jenn Thorson said...

Project Savior- It was a refreshing change from the Inbox additions I normally get, so thanks for the reprieve. :)

Jaffer said...

That was a short quiz - I had already written '4.' on my notepad so I put a piece of spam in the empty space.

I chose all 'c'

Jack o' all trades that I am !

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Spammers have short attention spans. A longer quiz would never do. :)

ReformingGeek said...

I'm so glad to know I'm a winner!

I have this great invention that I know will get your attention. Carrier pigeons. It's the green (but not clean) way to communicate. Just send me $199.99 and I'll send you your first pigeon. For an additional $10.00, I'll send you a hat. You'll understand the need for the hat very soon after the first pigeon flies above you.

Jenn Thorson said...

Reforming Geek- HAAAAA, you've really thought this through, you wily entrepreneur, you! :) (This is going to make me chuckle throughout the day, I think.)

Anonymous said...

Ha! C&C would so not hire me. My answers were all over the map...but call me Ishmael, please.

Jenn Thorson said...

Ishmael- Well, you could always begin at C&C as undeclared until you found your niche spam area.

Jaffer said...

Yeah ! I got all 'c'.
I passed right ? That's like 65% right ?
Only 3 questions ?

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Dude, methinks you need a vacation. You've been working too long in isolation lately. Remember, there is no overachieving on spam quizzes. :)