Of Cabbages and Kings Blog Buddies Virtual Giftlist

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the 'net
A Cabbage was cooking plans no one'd forget
What if, posed the Cabbage, in this time of cheer
Said Cabbage could gather all online friends here...

And gift them with goodies that they would like well?
Virtual goodies. (Just not IRL.)
A Cabbage, you see, might have heart to the core
But no hands or feet to go shop in the store

And a Cabbage we know is covered in green
But not in his wallet. For him, times are lean.
"A token," he shouted, "plus some linky love,
"For visits and comments and all of that stuff!"

So the Cabbage, he wrote up a very long list
And thought and he thought, hoping no one was missed
But he feared and he fretted for friends overlooked
(This is what happens with Cabbage, half-cooked.)

So below you will find the results of his work
And please do not think Old King Cole Slaw a jerk
If all are not mentioned. He asks, please, instead:
Know he does what he can with a veg for a head

And so here is to you, and to you, and to you!
May each day of this holiday bring joy right through
Now go and start shredding the wrappings because
"There's no time like the present," says old Santa Slaws


Friends of Cabbages, found in no particular order:

• To Olga the Traveling Bra- I give you a bosom buddy this holiday season, someone who apparently likes to travel as well, and will always have your breast interests at heart. Click to embiggify (and possibly put your eye out).

• To Claire- I wish you the knowledge to get through your courses, the empathy to understand those who need it, and the Guinness to occasionally forget about the first two things.
  

• To DrowseyMonkey- For you, I wish you virtual Woolite, so your Drowsy doll never has an offensively filthy foot again. (And no, you don't get Vincent D'Onofrio. I kidnapped him for you for your birthday. There's a restraining order on me now.)

• To Mark Stoneman- I wish you all the hope and warmth of new opportunity. Also an all-weather doggy coat printed in honestly-earned A+ student papers.

• To Ender- I wish you a design that finally gets the credit it deserves, and a surprise Grand Opening of a local Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits.
  

• To Shirley- I wish you quick entry into that new house-- and a slow start in discovering the joys of property taxes.
  

• To Tiggy- I send to you a breakthrough extra role where you get discovered-- without ink all over yourself.
  

• To Crotchety Old Man- I wish you a Major Award that doesn't involve you having to pass it along to 20 of your closest bloggy friends-- and one brought to you by your favorite homemaking babe, Martha Stewart.

• To Kathy of the Junk Drawer- I wish you More Bacon. Also chocolate. Okay, how about More Bacon, coated in chocolate? We aim to please.
  

• To Babs Beetle- May the fauna pose for perfect pics, and may the trolls keep their opinions to themselves.
  

• To Dead Rooster- I'm sending you a Black-Widow-Free summer, plus one earthquake which does not involve your cat deciding to buckle down for it on you.
  

• To Unfinished Rambler- I wish you to a glorious, uncontested win in the Kenny Loggins vs. Huey Lewis Smackdown (even though I have reservations about your theory-- see, now that's bloggy friendship). I hope you'll be out of the "Danger Zone" and it'll turn out "All Right."
  

• To Shieldmaiden- I'm sending you virtually one full week's sleep with no interrupting sirens. Note: I cannot specify when this week will be. :)
  

• To Jonny's Mommy- Well, I'd wish you a couple of free zingers toward Brother, but you usually have that covered without outside help. Instead, I wish you two perfectly timed photographs of Jonny-- which you'll marvel for years to come at your good luck in capturing.
  

• To ReformingGeek- I bring you the knowledge that the Christmas season, which has been driving you batty, will actually end.
  

• To Melanie of Tulip House- Sending you an early spring for those tulips! (Aren't you glad I didn't say, 'Another tacky souvenir magnet from Florida??) You are. I know you are. :)
  

• To Tiffany- I'd give you some extra time, so you can actually get a breather these days.

• To Jaffer- May your next possession by "Ronald the Zombie Mime" be both fun and educational.
  

• To Chat Blanc- Let's see... I know you don't want plastic stripper shoes with a tarantula in the heels... How 'bout some Catnip and Stoli?
  

• Jay of TheDeppEffect- I'd send you Johnny Depp only I think Vanessa Paradis would object, particularly here at the holidays. So I'm sharing with you the one thing I have to give-- a photo of the Johnny Depp theme tree my friend Kitty gifted me with a couple of years ago. Hope you make it to the Dillinger premier!
  

• To J.D. of I Do Things- I'm sending you the good luck that just once, someone else will do a couple of things so you don't have to.

• To J.D. of Techfun-- May the cheesesteaks always be fresh, the dim-sum come right on time, and the car traffic be unexpectedly light. Also, beat Bryan a few times at that Wii block game.

• To Chyna- (Not a blogger, but oh, I know what she'd want.) I send you virtual tins of off-mix paint. May you find a rainbow of them-- cheap!

• To TimeThief-- A holiday season just the way you want to celebrate it and nobody telling you any differently.

• To Offended Blogger-May the year bring all the offenses, offenders and crunchy tacos you need for happy blogging.
  

• R.J. of WordTapestry- Wool. Lots of weird and different wools. Also knit socks that end up the same length the first time around. :)
  

• The Rhet- Sending you virtual Sculpey clay, and the lightbulb idea to make it do something never-before-seen.
  

• To Greg- Sending you a year you don't have to dig up the garden bed so it can become migratory!

• To Karen of A Strange Life Revisited- Wishing her the tableau of the bizarre she needs for continued posting. Also more Penzey's spices-- those cinnamon rolls this week looked good!
  

• To Static- Sending you some virtual, anti-electro-shock-therapy haircare products for the -do.
  

• To Lidian- Back in a dingy junk shop, under a box of old Reader's Digests, I send you the vintage ads that make you laugh out loud.
  

• To Alice of Honey Pie- Just wishing you well, and smooth going with the job, Alice. I really miss reading your adventures each day!

• To Sujatha- Enough time to actually put your feet up for a change, without even having to think about your next blog post!
  

• To Marvel Goose- The kind of eggs laid in the news that you have blog fodder for a good long while.
  

• To Adullamite- I wish you two extremely silly things to happen, which allow you to wield the mighty sword of sarcasm in full-force. I thought you'd enjoy that.
  

• To Meg of Prefers Her Fantasy Life- Sending you a whole pile of virtual creepy doll heads to keep you happily crafting/home decorating for a while.
  

• To Nanny Goats- For you I'm wrapping up a virtual pair of new knickers for the Nanny Goat. Remember- change is good.
  

• To Kirsten, the Soccer Mom- Sending you the discovery of a truly hot, fashionable way of wearing a beer hat.
  

• To Etta Rose- Wishing for you the resurrection of your lost subscriber list!

• To Annie Wishing for a great meal cooked by someone who is not you for a change! Take a night off!
  

And as Tiny Tim didn't quite say, (but would have if he'd thought of it), "Blog bless us, every one!" :)
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