Facebook 'Like' Function Spoils Dexter Netflix Savorability Factor

Now see here, Facebook-- how can I convince you that I do not want to know?

Offline, I close my ears and childishly "la-la-la" to myself over possibly-dangerous watercooler talk.

I tell my friends "Talk to the Hand" when they start with the hearty, "Hey, did you see last night's ep--"

And I warn these good-hearted folks that mine is a No Spoiler Zone, particularly when it comes to Netflixable shows like Dexter, which I like to wait for, and savor, commercial-free.

Mother Facebook, however, has other ideas about what is good for me.

See, I had made the mistake of "Liking" Dexter on my Facebook profile. And now Mother Facebook is all up in my face, like that new agey parent who just really, really wants to be your very bestest friend and feels the most effective way to do that is by intruding all over your personal interests. 

In this case, she's determined to dish the latest on Dex. She does not care that I have been trying to avoid all details of Season 5 like medieval peasants would circumnavigate a popular plague-era rat networking convention.

No, instead Mother Facebook reacts to this by flinging tidbits of info at me into the stream of my otherwise-innocuous Facebook updates. I find I'm starting to flinch every time I see Michael C. Hall's smirking mug.

"No! No! Do not WANT! Ignorance is bliss! Flee, Michael! Away with ye! We shall reconnoiter later!"

It's like Mother Facebook is that gossipy old neighbor who takes great evil pleasure in "accidentally" letting you know she saw your husband slip across the yard to that desperate soccer mom's back porch.

So it looks like I'm going to have to "Unlike" Dexter, simply to release myself from this net of unwanted joy-crushing Facebookly media spoilage. All I can think is, it's a good thing Facebook wasn't around when The Sixth Sense and The Crying Game were out.

"Find Out How Bruce Willis Felt Playing a Ghost!"
"Read all about how Crying Game Actor Prepped for Transgendered Role!"

Yeah, yeah, we know-- and the boat sinks Italicand Leonardo DiCaprio dies. Thanks a lot, Mother Facebook. Thanks a friggin' lot.

15 comments:

Karen said...

UNLIKE. I've had to do this on a number of things, just because the FB stream was too, too informative. Sometimes, even in this information age of knowing EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW, I yearn to be IGNORANT.

Jenn Thorson said...

Karen- I knew I couldn't be the only one facing this.

I also noticed when I went on CNN, I could see what articles my Facebook friends had posted from there...

It's creepy. Really creepy.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

I consider this your best public service announcement yet. I don't "like" too many things on FB, so I haven't had this happen to me. I'm never liking any TV or movie related things, ever, thanks to you!

Jenn Thorson said...

Kathy- I am happy to help. Fortunately, most of the things I have "liked" are already off the air, so I'm caught up. But this Dexter thing...

(Shakes head.)

nipplelicious said...

Oh how I've begged for the "Like, but don't use spoilers" button too!

I think I finally removed the ones I didn't want because they were giving me too many updates before I watched them.

TMI Facebook, TMI

Jenn Thorson said...

Nipsy- Maybe they could change the Like button into a "Agree to Accept Endless Promos" button. So at least we'd know what we were in for. :)

Deray said...

I forbid any of the pages I "like" to publish to my wall, that way I avoid the spoilers. I'm looking forward to watching the season finales of Dexter tonight. I really want to know if Matsuka (sp?) is the killer!!!


I'm just kidding! jajajajaja

Jenn Thorson said...

Diana- Heh- don't make me Unfriend you. :) I had a painful moment there I read your comment and thought, "NOOOOOOOOO!!" :)

Deray said...

Jajajajaja I wouldn't do that Jenn, I hate spoilers!

Grace said...

My husband and I are probably the only people on the planet who did not see "Titanic" - why bother, we knew the boat sank...

Jenn Thorson said...

Diana- Phew-- good! Thanks!

Grace- I didn't actually see Titanic, either. So there's three of us!! :)

Jaffer said...

Just today I 'unliked' a bunch of pages because they were 'cluttering' my stream and ruining me emotionally ... well ... the same reason you wrote this post ... what a coinky-dink. LOL

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Totally understand. I guess we should not be free with our Likes.

This IS why I thought it made more sense when it was "Fan" as opposed to "Like." I like a bunch of things I wouldn't necessarily "Fan."

Van said...

I LOATHE spoilers...but always get them. My dad is notorious for unknowingly barking out the endings . Movies like, "A Beautiful Mind", "The Sixth Sense" and "Fight Club" were ruined for me.

I currently am not watching any popular shows, so I'm safe from spoilers these days :) Bwahaha.

Jeff said...

I have never watched Dexter. even though my wife says it's good but it I did, and a FB group was ruining it for me, I would unsubscribe!