Hide the Children, Subversive Cabbages are Here!


Oh, now you've done it. And are you ever going to be sorry! Yep, life for you is never, ever going to be the same, my friend...

And I must ask-- how can you stand to sit there reading a site which is banned in some public libraries and workplaces?

Banned for being naughty and subversive and.. er, putting the toilet paper roll on in the entirely wrong direction?

The only one-- out of even the edgiest Humorblogger sites-- to be blocked from some public places tighter than an old man's fiber-free colon?

It's befouled. Can't you feel the befoulification?

Since I heard the news my site's been blocked, I've been trying to figure out just where Cabbages and I went wrong.

I mean-- how is it that a blog that talks about things like... oh, song parodies devoted to the death of a personal computer...

And getting struck in the head with sheep on Facebook...

And what classic book authors would have written if they'd blogged...?

How is this ban-worthy material? So this is the best I can determine:


  • Too many zombies. Frightened by the truth about the potential for a zombie plague, concerned parental groups wishing to turn a blind eye to possible undead infiltration, have decided to suppress critical need-to-know information regarding zombie defense and cliche prevention.


So-- hide the children. Lock your doors. And if Old King Cole Slaw starts peering through your windows, make sure the lights are off and everyone stays really, really quiet.

But if you choose to continue on as a regular reader, well, don't say I didn't warn you! You'll want to wipe that befoulification off your hands before you head off...

Here's a nice disinfectant wipe, and a cookie. There... that's better.

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Humorbloggers
Humor-blogs

41 comments:

The Mother said...

Censorship is a terrible, terrible thing.

There will always be people who don't get your sense of humor.

Cheer up, though.

Humorbloggers could have decided you weren't funny. That's what happened to me.

Jenn Thorson said...

The Mother- It's surprising, too, these days what gets peoples' knickers in a bunch, isn't it? :)

I'm sorry you didn't make it into Humorbloggers, but I'm certainly glad to have "met" you.

moooooog35 said...

What is this thing you call, "library?"

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I think its your liberal use of the word 'taint', which I only recently discovered has, ah, multiple meanings.

Jenn Thorson said...

Moog- It's this big building where they store audio CD rentals. :)

Shieldmaiden- Are you saying that they've now tainted "taint"? There's just no winning. :)

dizzblnd said...

Well knowing al of this gives me even MORE of a reason to stalk you. I'm a rebel that way. Besides I love your zombie posts

Da Old Man said...

Oh please, Little Miss Innocence. Just a mere one post ago, you nearly advocated violence against telemarketers. You repeatedly have been a proponent of self foot abuse, and well, the zombie fetshism-- that just puts your blog right onto the cyber bonfire. Need I go on?

We must protect the young'uns from Cabbagey perversion.

Jenn Thorson said...

Dizzblnd- I and the zombie hoards thank you. Here is your courtesy cricket bat.

Da Old Man- Okay, so, yes, the telemarketers are on my last nerve. And yeah, maybe my feet have suffered because of myself. And we all know I do support a good zombie post.

I suppose I should just embrace the evil that is Cabbages.

PS- 10 extra points to you for using "Cabbagey." :)

Mike said...

I can't believe yours was banned and my blog is ok.

No matter where I go, whatever I try to do, I get the opposite results.

Karma's a bitch, isn't it?

Jenn Thorson said...

Mike- Irony does seem to keep a long to-do list running, yeah. :)

Jaffer said...

Correct me if I am wrong. The Cabbage Patch has been banned from some terminals ?

How did you find this out ?

If you must know, I am posting this comment using a terminal at a Community College Library.

Jenn Thorson said...

Jaffer- Well, that's good news!-- it means it's not a global library thing, anyway.

Yup, UnfinishedRambler couldn't access it from his local library, and neither can Tiggy from work. Tiggy's work apparently has me labeled as being EVIL. (Okay, well, not those words, but close.)

Carl said...

It's their loss, isn't it? I was banned from entering the libraries. Reason: I am too good looking. Oh well, I will take my handsomeness to Barns and Noble then.

Jenn Thorson said...

Carl- Distracting the librarians from their duties were you, Carl? :) Making them mess up on Interlibrary Loans, and the like?

Well, they have to do what they can to protect their jobs and not make too many mistakes... I'm sure the Barnes and Noble folks are grateful, at least. Less career pressure there.

ReformingGeek said...

I'm sure it's the zombies, Jenn. Afterall, those things hack into to street signs and change the words so I'm sure the library Nazis don't want to send the public into a panic!

Me-Me King said...

You are in great company, like Lenny Bruce and Frank Zappa, you have brought your edginess to the forefront of blogging. Atta girl!!!

Jenn Thorson said...

Reforming Geek- It's true, those zombie are a menace to society with their sign hacking skillz. Perhaps it's to increase road safety for all, that I've been banned. :)

Me-Me- Woo-hoo! Me and one of the Mothers of Invention-- now that's WAY cool.

One of my friends actually joked that it might be because I quite often mention some books that were banned-- like "To Kill a Mockingbird."

Tiggy said...

Your site is banned at my workplace.

It was nothing to do about the warning e-mail I sent everyone, that was just a coincidence I'm sure.

askcherlock said...

Just as Santanna said, "Leave your lights on. There's a monster hiding under my bed." Keep your wits about you and continue with your great thoughts.

Nothinglikeit said...

Oh, I feel like such a revolutionary now - Thanks for being so naughty!

Robin

John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer said...

I hope I'm good enough to be banned one day. It's like when all those Christian nuts told everyone not to buy Harry Potter books because of Satanism. How many books do you think their insanity sold?

Jenn Thorson said...

Tiggy- Good to know I have you on my side, Tiggy... Er... not :)

Askcherlock- Off-topic, that's a good song. Makes me want to get out that CD. :)

NothingLikeIt- Heh-- "viva la revolution!" :)

John- Oh, that Harry Potter thing had me so steamed. There were even book bannings and burnings not far north from me. Really enlightened, huh? Thanks for Stumbling!

Walt said...

Well isn't that special. . . . .
Let's not be beating around the bush; we know what it is all about. . . . SEX! . . . sex sex sex sex sex sex . . . .and there is nothing more sexy than a sultry voluptuous redhead, just oozing with sex. Something had to be done about all the little boys wanking off to your torridly hot picture in our now tainted libraries and workplaces. What a terrible mess, all those sticky seats! http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1148633298/Jerking_Off_At_The_Library

Walt said...

Sorry about the bad link, but I found a much better one, that will really piss them off!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2459791749470406300

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, poo. All the best blogs are banned; you should feel honored. And I agree with one of the above posters: It's the zombies. They are, after all, in charge of all media. Remember, the Zombie Apocalypse is coming.

Jenn Thorson said...

Walt- Well, um, that's a, er, different perspective than I was having on things. (Me, thinking that if all this were going on at the library then maybe the librarians were smart to ban. "Keep the seating pristine!") :)

JD- Yeah, I too still think it's the zombies. It's always the zombies.

Walt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Walt said...

Well think of it this way; you are stimulating and pleasing more people, than you are not. And like they say in the song folks: ("The girl can't help it!")
Oh boy am I going to burn for that one! There will be duckbutter all over the librarie.

Melanie said...

Jenn, you know it's because you are trying to get the truth out there. The truth is so often suppressed, ESPECIALLY if it's the truth about zombies.

My children are already thoroughly befouled and tainted and read you regularly.

Jenn Thorson said...

Walt- I think I need to go scrub my brain now. :)

Melanie- Ah! Yes! I'm already corrupting youth and I didn't even realize it-- how cool is that?

Walt said...

Yes, it is a funny thing about zombies; they are real!
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2004/12/09/1260445.htm

The Serpent And The Rainbow 1988 part 1

Barry said...

Yay! You are banned! Now you need a Ban-daid :)

nipsy said...

Well, you have now spread the taint into my little world...and I kinda like it.. Keep on tainting my friend. Who knows, maybe there will be a poster of you in your local library soon...lol

Jenn Thorson said...

Walt- Yes, I know! The roadsigns tell us so! :)

Barry- Ah, someone has had his coffee this morning!-- you're sharp. :)

Nipsy- Ooooh, heh, excellent! "Do not loan books to this blogger!"

Jonny's Mommy said...

First, do you have a restraining order against Walt?

Second, sorry I had to break that news to you about the banning. But listen, other blogs were banned too and it was banned in the country. You know how backwards we are out here in the country. Are you sure you want to come visit here?

You could ask the local librarian why they banned your site while you're here. :-)

Jenn Thorson said...

Jonny's Mommy- Hey, no problem-- I'd rather know about it than not. I've actually gotten my URL switched from being listed with BlueCoat (one of the filters) as Humor instead of Blogs/personal. So that may help.

I actually just had more fun writing the post about being banned than anything else. It's like my mother read my blog and decided I was embarrassing her. :) And Mom's not even alive anymore.

freetheunicorns said...

Everyone is getting their blog banned from something or other recently. Why can't I? Am I not cool enough? Or crude enough?

Jenn Thorson said...

FreetheUnicorns- Aw... don't worry, it'll happen for you someday, I just know it! Maybe you're trying too hard. Just try not to think about it, and I'm sure you'll be banned before you know it!-- Feel a little better? :)

RaBT said...

"Too many Zombies"? How can that be wrong? That's like saying, "too much money" - as if that could ever happen!

Jenn Thorson said...

RaBT- Heh, well, you never know-- the zombies could be traumatizing the kiddies, er somethin'. :) (Like the kiddies don't then go blow things up scarier than that on their Wii's... )

Staci said...

Wow, I kind of feel like a rebel now, reading a banned blog, and my sister just thinks she's the bad girl in the family. I might go run out and get a tattoo now (The rub on, cartoon character kind that comes in gum. It's all I can afford, but I'll wear it with rebel pride.)