"Push button to speak to attendant."
As I pumped my gas, the button next to the sign seemed particularly large and red and tempting. At over $3 a gallon for gas, it seems the mind will do anything it can to distract itself from the reality of the situation, and somehow it got to mulling over that button.
The same kind of wandering also happens during yet another smeary election ad, or one more Sham-Wow! commercial.
"Push button to speak to attendant."
And I started wondering if anyone had ever pushed that button just to chat...
Attendant: Hello? Can I help you?
Me: Hi!-- who is this?
Attendant: This is Carol. Do you need assistance with something?
Me: Hi, Carol! I'm Jenn-- really nice to meet you. Are you from this area originally, Carol?
Attendant: Um, just down the street. I--
Me: Really? Just down the street? Wow, that's nice. Gotta be wonderful having such a short commute. Particularly in winter. Now, did you grow up around here, too?
Attendant: Er, yes... in Irwin... Is there something I can help you with, ma'am?
Me: Did you catch the Steelers game by any chance last night, Carol?
Attendant: Well, yeah, I did-- er---
Me: What was your take on the defensive situation? I think they made too many mistakes for it to be called a real win. I'd be interested in your analysis.
Attendant: Ma'am, are you having trouble with the gas pump, or getting your credit card to go through or something?
Me: No, it's working really well, actually. You folks run a smooth operation here. It's always impressive... Do you enjoy your job, Carol?"
Attendant: Er, ma'am, I don't see how this relates to--
Me: I was just wondering whether they treat you well here? As an employee, I mean?
Attendant: Well, I can't complain, really. I mean the hours aren't great, and the smell of the hot dogs get to me after a while, but we get all the Krispy Kremes we want, and we get credits for a free car wash once a month.
Me: A free car wash once a month-- you don't say!
Attendant: Ma'am, is there anything I can actually help you with?
Me: Well, you know, I have been trying to think of the name of that sitcom that was out in the 80s, where Carol Kane was behind the scenes writing a soap opera. I think Geena Davis was in it, too. Do you remember that?
Attendant: Er, no, ma'am. I meant, could I help you with anything related to the gas pump?
Me: Nope! In fact, my tank's been a filled up for five minutes now. Really nice talking to you, though, Carol. Don't let those hot dogs get to you too much! I hate to have to cut our chat short, but I want to hit the Wendy's drive-thru before I head home. They get lonely, too, you know.
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