I've learned a lot about living with a pet, since adopting my cat, Alice, almost two months ago. Things like: puncture wounds really can mean love. And: wool pile stroking your cheek in the night doesn't mean the area rugs are getting frisky.But I've been thinking, the lives our pets lead might not apply well to the world of humans, particularly in the corporate world. Simply because this is how that might go:
- Business breakfast meetings would start with coffee, danish, and half the execs running circles around the conference room table excitedly sharing tales of what a great poop they just had.
- All group projects would require two employees to attempt the task, and two to hop up and lay on the project planning document.
- Dull meetings would be filled with long, loud sighs bearing the weight of the world.
- All project discussion would cease when someone accidentally drops a paperclip. Meetings would allow time for executives to compete and see who will bat it around the room.
- When you can't find one of your colleagues in his office, you know he's in the shipping room, leaping in and out of the mailing boxes.
- The corporate cafeteria would serve meat, bones, meat and meat.
- Powerpoint presentations would find half the staff in the audience, and the other half up front blocking the screen.
- Business restrooms would be the same, but TP would be tracked with gusto around the office space.
- Dropping the ball in your job would suddenly also involve digging your teeth into it and refusing to pass it to the person you've been working closely with.
- And when your boss asks you out for a bite... you bite him.
You pet-owning folks have any more to add to this list? I'd love to read 'em!
