We've been killing Abe Vigoda off for a while now.We. Us. The general populace has. He's that guy in Barney Miller who played "Fish." Apparently, according to CNN, he's been learning he's dead since 1982.
I bet that put a crimp in his day.
But there are other celebrities who I'll hear about after a lengthy hiatus from the public eye and I find myself wondering, weren't they, too, of non-living status? And no, I don't mean Ben Stein, that's just his style. I'm talking about celebrities who fill our lives with TVLand reruns, cameo appearances, and infomercial advice and then vanish into the Great Cocktail Party of Obscurity.
Here are just a couple of celebs I've inadvertently offed over the years:
George Hamilton- A skin cancer discussion came up between some friends and I, and at least two thought Mr. Hamilton was dead. He is actually alive and doing baked cracker ads, as a form of intentional poetic irony and retirement plan.
But really, how come skin cancer hasn't snagged this guy? The answer: he's been a vampire since the 70s, so melanoma can no longer affect him. Being a method actor for Love at First Bite, he ran right out and got bitten. Now the light of day burns his flesh-- but tanning beds are apparently a-okay. Who knew?
An alternate theory from fellow-blogger Cari, of Two Kids and a Beagle, was that his leather-like skin has just morphed into a protective coating. In which case, Mr. Hamilton might be representative of the Human of the Future, should the ozone layer finally give out.
Things to think about.
J.D. Salinger- He died recently. Unfortunately, my reaction was, "You mean he was alive?" Of course, in my mind, if you are a renowned writer who has had a book that reached "classic" or "reading list" status, you are automatically dead to me. No one living can possibly have a book school children are supposed to spend pouring over in July instead of swimming and breaking assorted limbs attempting misguided stuntman impersonations.
Bob Barker- Is he alive, or not alive? I know he opened up a can of whoopass on Happy Gilmore, but that's been over a decade. I can't keep up with these things because I'm not home to watch daytime television. So for that matter, I am starting to question Drew Carey and Wayne Brady's aliveness. Once you start hosting a game show, your chances of me offing you preternaturally are increased by approximately 76%.
In a total reversal of all this, I am still seeing infomercial hawker Billy Mays, and I am pretty sure he's no longer with us.
What can we believe anymore? Really?
Question of the day: What celeb did you think was dead, only to find out was alive and kickin'?
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