Supermarket's Top 50 Countdown

It's finally happened...

I'm officially old enough to be actually digging the Muzak I'm hearing in the stores.

Like the Goodwill playing, "Angel is the Centerfold"...

Radio Shack piping in The Cars' "You Might Think"...

And at the Giant Eagle grocery store... Gosh, every time I run there to pick up my lunch, it's like an 80s hit parade. I step through the door and I'm treated to the Cure's "Lovesong..." I grab a couple of necessities and they're playing, "Land Down Under."

I love it.

And just the other day, I was at the salad bar (and yes, for those who care, it is STILL reversed and WRONG), and I found myself singing along with "Karma Chameleon."

It instantly reminded me of hanging out with one of my friends ("Joe" of the scary red clown bathroom, in fact) and getting to see Boy George for the first time.

You see, I was one of the only kids in my school who didn't have cable TV.

This basically made me Amish.

But unlike the Amish, I KNEW there was this whole MTV thing going on. Only my exposure to it included:

  • Vague references from other people-- during which I would fake understanding so as not to do anything that would get me beat up on the school playground. (Because, trust me, they would still beat up the Amish.) I would piece this information together later....
  • Coveted reruns of Friday Night Videos and...
  • Occasional visits with friends WITH cable

This worked out okay, with the exception of the "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirts the girls wore, which had me baffled for YEARS. ("Who is this Frankie and why does he or she endorse typos on clothing?")

So through watching MTV at Joe's house, that's when I first saw Boy George.

It was also the moment I cleverly observed, "Wow, that girl sure has a low singing voice!"

Joe and his sister-- who understood my level of Amishness and somehow liked me anyway-- patiently explained to me that Boy George was, in fact, a man. After which, I agreed the name "Boy George" probably should have been my tip-off.

Anyway, I spent 18 years in an academic-oriented, non-cable-television-having, pop culture isolation... And then the next 18 trying to make up for it. Which brings me back to the grocery store.

I've decided, I'm going to just really savor being a member of the generation sellers are currently sucking up to, soundtrack-wise. I'm gonna happily make my salads to "Everybody Wants to Rule the World." I'm going to bag my groceries with enthusiasm to "The Safety Dance."

Because in 20 years, you KNOW it'll be "Panic at the Disco" and "Fall Out Boy." And I just can't sing along with those girls-- their stuff is WAY too low for my range. :)

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The Muzak over at Humor-blogs is totally tubular.

More Monkeying Around at the Zoo


Hi-- meet my Uncle Lou. This is him, just about asleep in the chair in front of the TV, after Thanksgiving dinner... Boy, can that fellow put the candied yams AWAY.

Okay, yes, I am kidding you. This is not my Uncle Lou.... This is Uncle HENRY. They just look a lot alike.

Henry is always the one with the red nostrils.

But we're not here today to talk about my relatives. We're here to commune with the beauty of nature. (Read: put silly captions to zoo photos.) So let's get started.

Picture it, we're deep in the heart of Africa, and the lion and his mate have settled down for a long, restful sleep...


"GASP! Leo, are you awake? I heard something. I think there's a burglar..."



(Sigh) "Lena, fer Pete's sake, we go through this every single day... FINE. I'll go check it out."...



"When the zebra fell over dead, its fellow zoo inhabitants were none too surprised. He'd always been the type for dramatic exits..."



"Hi! Have you seen Nemo? Maybe he went this way..."



Meet the next America's Top Model...



"Shhh, don't look now, but don't you think Bambi seems to be putting on a lot of weight lately?... And just LOOK at what she's done to her hooves..."



"Hi- I'm looking for a clownfish. He's orange..."



"I'm here, Dory."



"...And small..."


"HERE, Dory..."


"And he has stripes..."



"I'M HERE!!!!"


"Nevermind, maybe he went this way..."



"Snowflake was all set to win the first official Polar Bear Mavericks of Surf Competition..."


"Until another surfer struck him in the back of the kneecap..."



"Sweetie, come BACK here. You have a little schmutz. Let me just get that..."


  • Oh, while I remember, for those who missed Part One of the Zoo photos, click here.
  • For those who missed this week's tale of clown fear, red lightbulbs and why Poltergeist seems to have scarred an entire generation, click here.
  • And for anyone curious to check out some unexpected celebrity lookalikes, you might get a chuckle here.
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Lions and tigers and Humor-blogs, oh my!