I was reading this article, about how the president of the NASCAR venue Texas Motor Speedway, Eddie Gossage, has offered $100,000 to disc jockey Terry Dorsey to officially change his name to Texasmotorspeedway.com for a year-- and get himself a permanent Texasmotorspeedway.com tattoo to commemorate the occasion.
Dorsey has 24 hours to accept this very literal branding effort.
Now, I don't know about you folks, but for me, it would have to be a heckvua lot more than $100,000 to even make that worth 24 hours of consideration.
Shouldn't the going rate for stupid be just a little higher? I mean, Robert Redford paid Demi Moore $1,000,000 for a single night in his Indecent Proposal. And it's not like Demi had to have a permanent Sundance Film Festival logo tramp stamp slapped on her as part of the deal.
But besides that-- and ignoring, y'know, any pesky ethical choices or anything-- here are just a few additional reasons our DJ friend might want to rethink saying "yes" to the proposal:
- Any woman who has ever changed her name after marriage will tell you that it might take Dorsey a whole year just to unstick all the various Bureaucratic Moniker Alteration Red Tapes from his elegantly-worn cowboy boots
- He would have to get all new checks and address labels made, though admittedly those personalized check services always have a nice wide selection of appropriate NASCAR themes
- This will confuse the mail carrier. Does the mail go to his house, or the speedway? Whose route is that? It's a .com, so shouldn't there be an email option? This will back up delivery of the man's Netflix for months.
- Does the DJ's family become the Texasmotorspeedway.coms? Or do they hyphenate?
- When monogramming, do you include the .com?
He could even get a nice body-part specific branding tie-in theme going. Like TUMS on the ol' mid-section... Goody's Headache Powder on his forehead... Viagra on his... Pending legal approvals and whatnot, of course.
So that leads me to today's question: what would you do if you were this DJ?
Personally-- I'm a big fan of, say, savory snack crackers, but that doesn't mean I'd transform into little Jenni Cheez-It for a year...
I mean, I have a whole box of business cards I haven't used yet. And I'm lucky to get my mail delivered as it is.